Today marks our month-sary. We agreed to go to church together as thanksgiving to God for each other. After morning service, I met her in Megamall and then went to Word for the World in Makati, that's also where my school is. Never did I knew that God will confront me there.

The message hit me bullseye. As if God orchestrated for me to be there and admonish me. As I've shared before I've been experiencing frustrations in ministry for more than over a week now. And even if I managed to get my message across this morning, it was by God's grace. It's already draining my joy and getting up seemed hard. Ptr. Raymund Ladao's first intro was "have you ever experienced frustration?" His text is about the prophet Jeremiah dealing with his own frustrations and how God changed the course of his outloook. I've wallowed in this pit of self-pity and KSP-ness that I've become conceited and self-serving. God confronted me on my attitude and countenance. Some of his points were: People will frustrate us, do not let frustration get the best of you, God's justice comes in His time not our own, never focus on people, and ultimately focus your eyes of Jesus which is all that matters. During the altar call I've reconciled with Him knowing that these feelings doesn't glorify Him. I felt God's embrace and I couldn't help but cry as a wounded child-warrior to my Father's shoulder. I was yearning to meet Him this week, and I did. Truly it's amazing how God answers prayer!

I've realized the bittersweet life of being a pastor. There are victories and room for learning from the past. I think I already know how a parent feels when their children "doesn't need them anymore." The feeling of rejection just suffocates the heart. That's when I realize I've attached myself to the ministry and not anymore to Jesus in whom alone I must seek to please. I am not Superman, I am just as human who experiences moments of disillusionment just as the people I minister too. Please continually life me up in your prayers.

I'm doing better now. Praise God for His faithfulness.

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Jeremiah 12:5, "If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?"

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Jeremiah 20:9, "If I say, 'I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,' his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot."

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Hide me now under Your wings | Cover me with Your mighty hands | When the oceans rise and thunders roar | I will soar with You above the storm | Father, You are King over the flood | I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul in Christ alone | Know His power in quietness and trust | When the oceans rise and thunders roar | I will soar with You above the storm | Father, You are King over the flood | I will be still and know You are God

Becoming A 5-Star Steward

My message for this month's theme on stewardship:

Matthew 25:29, "For everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away."

Text: The Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30)

• Acknowledge the real Source
• Attitude is the key
• I am blessed to bless others
• Stop looking at other people's plate
• Accountability reaps rewards
• God looks at the quality of our efforts (not quantity)
• God loves excellent work
• God promotes those who are faithful in little things
  
• Apathy avoids the happy life
• Fear robs us of better things that God has prepared to those who love Him.

Inspiring quote by Martin Luther:
"The maid who sweeps her kitchen is doing the will of God just as much as the monk who prays – not because she may sing a Christian hymn as she sweeps but because God loves clean floors. The Christian shoemaker does his Christian duty not by putting little crosses on the shoes, but by making good shoes, because God is interested in good craftsmanship."

I'm here right now in SM Mania. I had some photos printed. The youth are in Mall of Asia having their outdoor cellgroups. I had to stay at church this afternoon because I had to meet a young couple who responded to the altar call last time we had our Christmas concert. It was a fruitful talk I believe. Please do pray for them. I'm currently downloading this video for my illustration tomorrow when I stand on the pulpit. Amazingly, my sermon got through pretty quick this time. Thank God. Not unlike before... sleepless nights.

Tomorrow marks our 1st monthsary. Wow. And don't you "just-just" (basta-bastahin) our one month. One month is one month right? Tomorrow we'll celebrate. I miss her already since the last time we were together in UP Los Banos. I went there to take some video for this AVP I'm doing for Chi Alpha. On Wednesday I'm going up to Baguio for this campus ministry event.

I'm going now.

In her clinic.

It's been a while since I have blogged. Schedules have been busy lately. I'm blogging here in Starbucks near our school. This morning I woke up early with lack of sleep just like the past few days. Hurried to prepare because I had a meeting with one of my freelance clients in Makati. After the meeting had lunch and went here because perhaps the library is still closed few minutes after chapel service at school.

I've undergone a series of downers and drainers in the past few days. It's one of those days again. What's the use of doing all this if not for Him? I need a fresh encounter with Him again. I do thank God for giving me a partner whom just her mere company wipes out my exhaustion. Next week I'm going up to Baguio for a campus ministry event, hopefully I would find rest there. Please do include me in your prayers.

• Physical, mental endurance
• Protection from troubles and temptations
• Provision of resources need for me to do my ministry

Song For You

by The Carpenters

I've been so many places in my life and time | I've sung a lot of songs and I've made some bad rhymes | I've acted out my life in stages with ten thousand people watching | But we're alone now and I'm singing this song for you

I know your image of me is what I hope to be | I've treated you unkindly but darling can't you see | There's no one more important to me | Baby, can't you see it through me | 'Cause we're alone now and I'm singing this song to you

You taught me precious secrets of a true love withholding nothing | You came out in front when I was hiding | But now its so much better and if my words don't quite come together | Listen to the melody 'cause my love is in there hiding

I love you in a place where there is no space or time | I love you for my life, you are a friend of mine | And when my life is over remember when we were together | We are alone now, and I'm singing this song to you

This was an interesting day. Ate Merla and I met to take some footage of the University Belt. I'm making a video presentation for Chi-Alpha promotion. It's good to be back in the University Belt. We started with UE, San Sebastian, CEU, FEU, PSBA then UST, my alma mater. Going into UST, there's something nostalgic about the campus. It brought back a lot of memories during college. A lot though has changed... for the better.

Embarrassing as it sounds, I haven't got my diploma since I graduated in 2004. I've been wanting to get it but I didn't had the chance to be in the area until now. So I went to the Main Building and processed my diploma. It took less than an hour and my BS Architecture diploma was already in my hands. I know it will mean a lot to my parents.



After I and Ate Merla parted ways, I went to Ortigas to see Netty. I missed the girl so much. We've realized that seeing each other once a week wasn't enough even though we talk over the phone every evening. But in part, being away for a while brought some benefit, that we missed and longed to see each other more. We went to Market! Market! for dinner. At first we ought to see a movie, but we thought it won't really allow us to just talk and catch up. So after dinner we went to Starbucks in EDSA Central and stayed and talk some more. I've been wanting for us to pray together to dedicate our relationship to the Lord, though I know both of us have been continuously praying for each other. As we leave, we prayed a prayer of dedication and thanksgiving for His goodness to us and each other. I love her more today and everyday it grows.

Today I had a very fruitful meeting with my pastor. We had lunch in this newly opened authentic noodle house in Benavidez, I don't know what's it called because it's in Chinese. Their space is small and people are really willing to wait for vacant tables just to eat there. We had our fair share of waiting and waiting until finally we got to sit with a stranger couple. Nevertheless, it's about the noodle, my pastor brags, and truly one could say it is truly an authentic noodle house. Their managers are GI's (inside term meaning genuine Intsik - those who came from the mainland). It's new, it's good, it's affordable and in demand.

In the afternoon our youth visited MV Doulos instead of our usual fellowship. Since 2007 it's surprising that our attendance has climbed compared to the previous year. We had to walk from church over to Jones Bridge where the South Harbor jeep passes. I've realized that I have a fascination with tunnels under the bridge, I don't know why. When we reached the pier, it was another walk to the dock itself and to our shock the queue was so long. But after 30 minutes more or less we're in. Bookstore is still the same after 6 years since I've been into Doulos. It's difficult to buy books because there's so much to choose from. In the end I bought 3 books: "Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot, "Divine Intervention" by James Edwards, and "The Day I was Crucified: As Told by Jesus Christ" by Gene Edwards. Who cannot miss the famous Doulos homemade ice cream. Even though the queue was again long, I had to Binondo and had dinner at McDonald's. It was a fruitful day for me. 3 new books to read.

Just woke up.

Random thoughts:

It is concerning to think about what's been happening to Indonesia. For the last few months they've been suffering several tragedies consecutively. They are losing citizens by the hundreds. Can't help to think they're the largest nation of one faith. Indeed out of every tragedy God has a plan. What's His plan for Indonesia?

Raving on the new iPhone by Apple. An iPod and a phone in one. I love the touchscreen feature and more on their website. I want one. But the initial selling price is worth $500-$600!

Why Don't You Look into Jesus

by Holy Soldier

Latest favorite song. Listen in YouTube.

Sipping whiskey from a paper cup | You drown your sorrows till you can't stand up | Take a look at what you've done to yourself | Why don't you put the bottle back on the shelf |
Yellow fingered from your cigarettes | Your hands are shakin' while your body sweats | You work all night, you sleep all day | You take your money and throw it all away

[+] Why don't you look into Jesus | Look into Jesus, look into Jesus | You know He's got the answer

H.I.V. on Valentines Day | And you're still lookin' for the perfect lay | You think that rock and roll will set you free | Honey, you'll be deaf before you're 33 |
Shooting junk till you're half insane. | A broken needle in your purple vein. | You say you're gonna be a superstar | but you never really found out who you really are.

Thinking back when you were a child | Your soul was free and you heart ran wild | Things have changed, you're older now | If you're unhappy and you don't know how