Showing posts with label God-thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God-thoughts. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

I'm a kid with ADD

I got to get back on the habit on blogging. Not so much because I'm a busybody that I can't post new entries more frequently, but in fact it is total laziness, not in hitting the keys, but in processing the mind and sharing my thoughts. Just as I wrote in my last post, I'm in this state of hibernation. I was scanning this book Spirit-filled Temperament by Tim La Haye and it writes how a melancholy or choleric temperament (I'm not sure which one) incurs in himself great depression after experiencing great victory. Could this be true in my situation? It has happened a few times. But I am hesitant to accept this. "I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

On the other hand I think that I am in desperate need these kinds of valleys. I forget to ask myself what I always ask before. "Where is God in all of these? What is He teaching me?" I'm a kid suffering from ADD. And perhaps the only way He could put my right where He wants me to be--in His loving and healing presence is shutting the lights off--out from the sparkles and noise and finally emerge as who I really am--an ordinary guy before an extra-ordinary, great and loving Father. He snuffs those moth-drawing lights so that finally He could catch me and embrace his beloved son, the one who was lost but now is found. "I am the only One you need. My heart aches to finally get a chance to tell you that you are loved, accepted, with NOTHING TO PROVE; I rejoice over you, my child, with singing. I quiet you with my love. I'm not a God who drives a slave to hardwork, in fact my yoke is easy and my burden is light. I am your Father and you are my beloved son."

Let me be always reminded that I'm not Superman, but just a vessel--that is just ordinary, nothing special--without His heavenly treasures kept inside; just an ass, literally and figuratively--if not used for the Master's service. "Knowing me sucks unless you see Christ in me." Let Him increase and I decrease.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Asaph Remix (Psalm 73)

Who dares to speak?
Who dares to look?
Through the eyes of the insignificant
By the mouths of the poor

Birds clamour when the pool is full
Who ever stays with an empty dish?
We are all chess pieces, perishable
Silenced by the hand of flattery

Lord, may give ear to these words!
As I utter tearless cry
May Your justice prevail
When the wicked seemed unshaken

May the Lord bless those who came to Your servant's aid
May they find favor in Your sight
But those who smoke arrogance
May You put to shame

Whom have I in heaven by You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth
My flesh and my heart may fail
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good
I have made the Lord my refuge
That I may tell of all Your works

Friday, May 04, 2007

Joy



This shows me teaching SHAPE in a camp yesterday in Taytay.

The first time I stepped on teaching (back in 2004), I got an evaluation remark that reads something like this, "He's good to look at, just don't listen to what he's saying." That was really a hard blow on my confidence, especially coming from a fellow servant. I even poured out my wounded soul in a poem. I've realized that these things, ridicule and criticisms are blocks in the road you have to take. Take a stop, learn and repair but in time move on towards your destination. By not giving up you tell God and yourself you really want that and the more you are driven to reach it ... whatever it takes.

For Him.

"From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it." ~ Matthew 11:12

Sunday, April 29, 2007

I had a very trying day today. I had a strenuous meeting this afternoon. And this morning the neighbor's daughter is celebrating their wedding and they've decided to turn our street into a mini-street party. So as we went home, dad calls telling me the car can't pass through and I have to find another parking place. The search for a parking place in this very cramp community proved to be very stressful. I suffered a headache and intense perspiration trying to find one. It's five minutes walk from to our place, where the wedding party continues as drunk men sang on the karaoke. I was fuming hot. Even on the third floor we can hear their drunk revelry. Buti kung ang gaganda ng mga boses, I thought. I tried listening to music: gospel songs and nature sounds, to no avail. Until suddenly a familiar voice, hurting and tired. And through listening and ministering to that beautiful soul He came to purge my fuming coals of anger into a heart of compassion and self-denial. A reinforced commitment: Lift others and be lifted yourself. "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." I'm taking a hot shower.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Of DotA, Beads and Rock and Roll

Last Thursday during our discipleship group we came across the topic of DotA, I didn't know how our discussion drifted to it (our topic was "Controlling the Tongue"). But it garnered a lot of talk-time and different views about the game. From what I see it's the one of the more popular PC games among the youth. And there are boys in our youth group that do play the game, some play moderately while others are "addicted" to it. It's been a popular discussion amongst our youth leadership, some saying good, others not good. I've also discussed it with other youth leaders and they also have varying views. Here's what I think about it:

Well, before we start judging the game (and other computer games), it's good to have all the facts in. Wikipedia has a good information about it. Also check the entry about Warcraft III. And by the way, I don't play. I'm stuck with Family Computer and never caught up as early as Sega and rollerblades.

Why some Christians have problem with DotA:
  • It's prone to be addictive, the cause of becoming a bulakbol.
  • The more Christian reason: The game and its characters looked like it rose from the bowels of hell.
Why some Christians doesn't have any problem with DotA:
  • It stimulates the brain through strategical thinking.
  • The more Christian reason: An avenue for fellowship and bonding among the brethren.
Non-living things are neutral. If asked, would you say a knife is good or evil? A knife is neither good nor evil, it's just an object. A knife can chop those lamang-loob for a delectable sisig and it can also be used to stab some person. Put man into the picture, the object becomes an instrument for good or for evil. Therefore, it's not the knife that's good or evil, but it's man who uses it for good or for evil. Same is true with money, knowledge and computers. It's the person who makes it bad or good. Could the game alone be neither good nor bad, or is it the user's motive that makes it good/bad?

Associations. Humans survive by association, we know that red means "stop" and green means "go." We know that it's not good to touch fire because some time before we have learned that it's not really okay to touch the flame of a burning candle. Failing to learn from the past is dangerous. But one must not dwell in it. It is by association that Christians limit their territories, instead of enlarging them. Some decades before noncompliance with the King James Version and the hymnal was as good as losing your salvation. Common-speak and repetitive upbeat choruses are for pagans and drunkards. The same has become the struggle of the electric guitar, the synthesizers, dancing, computers and the Internet to get past church doors.

Last semester, I had a UP-grad classmate who thought forbidding card games within school grounds was discriminatory. Just because cards were associated with gambling, some observant people readily shoot those who play even when there's no money involved. That's how our association skills get the best of us; that even I and some of my classmates are not so sold out about his view because playing cards in a seminary looks "un-Christian." We have a billiard table in school that went through the same beating a few decades before.

Rock music is another unsettled debate among Christian circles. We associate rock music with the unkempt, drug addicts and the rebellious; even as Hillsong and United among other contemporaries have become mainstream among the emerging church. We once had a discussion in our Worship and Music subject at school. How does music influence a person? Lyrics do, that's what makes Christian music Christian. But remove the lyrics and be left with music alone, could it still influence a person? Some say yes, some say no. I think it does. Just as a movie score can aid the person to react in a certain way, so does music. Another question was, "Can an artist influence the listener through his music?"

myChristianity syndrome. Back during the 90s, and this is a true story, wearing beads was forbidden by our older folks at church. Back then beads started to become a really huge hit and I started wearing one. The pastor's wife warned me about the evil associations of beads; that perhaps it came from some tribe which involved some rituals. But being a rebellious, zitty youth that I was, I still wore them.

Today, beads are as common as any fashion accessory. Sometimes the older we get the more we try resist CHANGE. First, let's set it straight, not all change is good, but not all change is bad either. But one thing is for sure, change is unstoppable. Often we fall into the mistake of setting up our little rules that we don't notice we are fleeting away from the real Christianity. We set up our rules for our own safety, and force others to do the same. I remember a radio sermon by Ptr. Jurem Ramos on DZAS. He said that when we force our own rules, which neither contradict nor accentuate Biblical commands, to other people, we are in danger of falling into legalism, which Paul fiercely condemned among the Galatian church. The thing with issues like these, fall into the grey areas because the Bible doesn't directly address it. But it doesn't mean that when the object doesn't appear letra por letra we can do it, because God's Word is always relevant. We should measure everything by the standard of Biblical principles.

Perhaps you are ready to just turn my blog off your browser and make your life less complicated. But let me share what God's Word says about DotA, rock music and beads. Paul had a similar problem. In one of his correspondence, someone asked him if it was ok to eat food that were sacrificed to idols, here's what he has to say about these grey areas or "disputable matters." I learned this from my music teacher. I've paraphrased the passage with "rock music" on brackets.

"Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to [play rock], but another man, whose faith is weak, [only sings hymnals]. The man who [plays rock] everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not [play rock music] must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

"One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who [plays rock], [plays] to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who [does not play rock], does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

"For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. It is written:
" 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,
'every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.' "So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

"Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no [music] is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. If your brother is distressed because of what [play], you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your [music] destroy your brother for whom Christ died. Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking [or playing], but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of [music]. All [music] is clean, but it is wrong for a man to [play rock] that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine [or play rock] or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

"So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he [plays], because his [playing] is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me." For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."

- Romans 14:1-15:7, NIV

Paul's foundation was not on rules - the Law, but his foundation was love. Too often we push and fight for our rights. It's our right to be pleased, get the best service, me first. Our rights have given us grounds to breed selfish motives. But contrary to the post-modern philosophy, the Bible tells us "to die to ourselves," "deny ourselves," and "consider others more important than ourselves." Here are 11 points I got from this passage:

  1. Refrain from readily judging other people. Before readily laying down judgment in words and thought, always ask "why?" Know the context of reason. In fact, the more we know the person, the more we become hasty in judgment because of fraternal bond. Don't take God's place. God has the proper Person, time and place for that.
  2. Accept that not everyone is like you. We are created differently, so we think and appreciate things differently.
  3. Do everything for the glory of God. Before you do something, ask yourself, "Does this bring glory to God?" The more it brings glory to God, the more you do it.
  4. We are accountable. We will all give account to God all that we have done, however irrelevant/neutral we think it is.
  5. Consider the weak. Do not, by what you're doing, offend/stumble other people, especially the weak.
  6. Be merciful. Always act on love, not technicalities and rules. Let us be merciful just as God has been merciful to us.
  7. Enlarge your vision. Always get the big picture. Don't major on minor things. Don't fight over a small morsel of bread. God is in the business of righteousness, peace and joy in the Spirit.
  8. Be an inspiration. Let everything you do be a source of inspiration and encouragement for other people.
  9. Be true to yourself. Magpakatotoo ka! Always check your motives. Do not be a great pretender.
  10. Be a servant. Jesus didn't put himself first, and no servant/disciple is greater that his Master.
  11. Protect the unity in the body. Disunity pleases the other, our unity glorifies God.
So in the end, it's not about who's right and who's wrong. It's about how much we love our brothers and our friends. It's the very foundation of our Faith - Love. And it is by love that the world will know that we are not phonies.

We are one in the Spirit
We are one in the Lord
And we pray that our unity may one day be restored
And they'll know that we are Christians by our love
- Old hymn

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Today marks our month-sary. We agreed to go to church together as thanksgiving to God for each other. After morning service, I met her in Megamall and then went to Word for the World in Makati, that's also where my school is. Never did I knew that God will confront me there.

The message hit me bullseye. As if God orchestrated for me to be there and admonish me. As I've shared before I've been experiencing frustrations in ministry for more than over a week now. And even if I managed to get my message across this morning, it was by God's grace. It's already draining my joy and getting up seemed hard. Ptr. Raymund Ladao's first intro was "have you ever experienced frustration?" His text is about the prophet Jeremiah dealing with his own frustrations and how God changed the course of his outloook. I've wallowed in this pit of self-pity and KSP-ness that I've become conceited and self-serving. God confronted me on my attitude and countenance. Some of his points were: People will frustrate us, do not let frustration get the best of you, God's justice comes in His time not our own, never focus on people, and ultimately focus your eyes of Jesus which is all that matters. During the altar call I've reconciled with Him knowing that these feelings doesn't glorify Him. I felt God's embrace and I couldn't help but cry as a wounded child-warrior to my Father's shoulder. I was yearning to meet Him this week, and I did. Truly it's amazing how God answers prayer!

I've realized the bittersweet life of being a pastor. There are victories and room for learning from the past. I think I already know how a parent feels when their children "doesn't need them anymore." The feeling of rejection just suffocates the heart. That's when I realize I've attached myself to the ministry and not anymore to Jesus in whom alone I must seek to please. I am not Superman, I am just as human who experiences moments of disillusionment just as the people I minister too. Please continually life me up in your prayers.

I'm doing better now. Praise God for His faithfulness.

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Jeremiah 12:5, "If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?"

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Jeremiah 20:9, "If I say, 'I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,' his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot."

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Hide me now under Your wings | Cover me with Your mighty hands | When the oceans rise and thunders roar | I will soar with You above the storm | Father, You are King over the flood | I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul in Christ alone | Know His power in quietness and trust | When the oceans rise and thunders roar | I will soar with You above the storm | Father, You are King over the flood | I will be still and know You are God

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Zechariah 2:5, "For I ... will be a wall of fire around [you], and I will be the glory in [your] midst."

Christmas is a time of celebration. And it's also a time to meet the relatives. And sometimes it's intimidating to catch up with what's happening with each other's lives. And there's that feeling again of self-belittlement resurfacing. Not that I measure myself by the standard of others. It's just at the back of my heart I've realized that I want to make my parents proud of their children. I want to ask them if they are proud of me. And I'm not sure if I'm doing a great job at it. Yeah, God's Word is the only one that matters. But they are my parents and I just want them to be happy. These are times when you have no place to run and hide but to God. He said I am "the apple of His eye" (Zechariah 2:8) and those who even try to touch the apple of His eye will really get whacked. Lord, I am nothing and You alone are the glory in my life. Forgive me that I had this feeling that belittles Your power and being. Thank you the Word that sustains me. I may have nothing to boast about by the world's standard but in You I know that You are my inheritance and portion.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Because of Christ-mas...

Spoke this year's Christmas message (first time!) this morning: "Because of Christ-mas..."

"... and you shall call His Name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins" (Matthew 1:21). Because of Christmas...
  • Our FELLOWSHIP (with God) is restored. Therefore we should respond in WORSHIP.
  • Our FUTURE is secure. Therefore we should respond with CONTENTMENT.
  • God's FAVOR is ours. Therefore we should respond with GENEROSITY.
  • Our FREEDOM is reclaimed. Therefore we should respond with HOLINESS.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

I'm currently reading this book I found while I'm in APTS called The Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. I have already seen it before at the ASCM library when a friend pointed it out to me and had made such impression that I knew I would read it soon. When I saw it in APTS bookstore it was the last one and as I flip through the pages an excerpt on simplicity immediately caught my eye. Indeed, how does one celebrate discipline? It seems those two words are contradictory. I believe I will soon discover. Reading through the pages, there are great insights from this seasoned disciple.

Foster gives a fresh perspective on working in and out our righteousness (salvation for Rick Warren). He calls it objective and subjective righteousness. Latter being righteousness achieved by discipline and the former achieved by grace alone. The two are inseparable. Even the new testament had little distinction between the two because it was already understood that they come in one package. I liked how he explained that achieving righteousness is like growing a plant.. God alone can make it grow (grace) but it's the job of the farmer to cultivate it, water it and create the condition for its growth (discipline).

Going back to the YA event. There had been tons of memorable insights from all the sessions of the event. We had this speaker who went in as a sub for an absent speaker but Tom Bohnert's message perhaps penetrated deepest to the heart of the people. He talked about the love of God. I'm struck at how one could make an organized thesis from what seemed a basic, even diluted, topic. His insight on the healing of the leprous man by Jesus captured how we often judge ourselves so strictly and we would ask God "if" He want to make us clean when in fact He is delighted and readily willing to do it for us, because He loves us. He loves us because He is our Father. Sometimes we project our impression of Him through our perception of our earthly fathers and other people, but hearing that as a Father, God loves still love us even if we get into mess. Now this should not be grounds for abusing His love. Paul talks about how Freedom should make us love Him even more. Foster talks about sin that it is something that cannot be scored, that sinfulness is a state of being. Therefore God doesn't keep score of our sins when in fact our whole being is sin, until Jesus made Himself as sin in our place. I believe in order to worship God, one must know and discover His being first. Even though it wouldn't be possible to fully unfold His glorious Being, understanding and experiencing His Fatherly love alone satisfies that "God-shaped" hole in our being.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I've been reading this fabulous book by Steve Farrar entitled "Finishing Strong." Finishing Strong is an easy read. Farrar is like a father instructing his son about life. Incidentally "finishing strong" is such a big word in our church community life. Finishing strong meant to finish this life victoriously, not missing the target. It doesn't matter how you start the race.. as long as you finish STRONG. I've realized that I am far from being exempted from falling away. It lingers around like a predator waiting for his prey's sign of weakness. My prayer for sometime is "Lord, please, let me finish strong. I want to finish strong."

Monday, September 18, 2006

Finally I was able to get rest today. I was able to spend a good devotional time. I sought Him, even though it was hard to get back at first. But after my devotional time... God really speaks in different ways.. It's amazing. While I was watching a feature about ASEAN bio-diversity, He pointed me to a peculiar creature of the sea... a nudibranch - or sea slug. These small colorful creatures are related to the snails and inhabit the coral reefs. Then I thought how God took time and energy and such creativity to create these astounding creatures. I remembered how Jesus tells us that God cares for His creatures,
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father... So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows (Matthew 10:29-31).
There was God's love right there. I was watching this documentary and I was teary-eyed. I could imagine how God's inifinite greatness created these creature, how much more he created someone in His likeness, in His image, given us a portion of His being. He loved me.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Came home 3 hours ago from band practice. This Saturday we're having an evangelistic concert at church. I'm singing in the first half. My bro sings in the second. The songs are almost ironed out. Can't wait 'til Sat. Everyone's excited! I miss playing in a band. I mean in a professional band like before minus the mishaps, just the music. I wanna form a CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) band. I want to express my musicality and jam with those who understand passion, musicality and craft. My musicality is in a stretcher. Perfectionist? A little. I believe what my Music & Worship professor shared during class. Our music should represent if not contain the MAJESTY of the King of Kings. Those are some serious words.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Psalm 45:10-12 (NASB)

Listen, O daughter, give attention and incline your ear:
Forget your people and your father's house;
Then the King will desire your beauty.
Because He is your Lord, bow down to Him.
The daughter of Tyre will come with a gift;
The rich among the people will seek your favor.

  1. As a son of God, I must listen and take heed to the Words of the Father.
  2. I must put off my identity for His identity; I should put Him above all relationships. ("He who doesn't hate his father or mother is not worthy of Me" - Jesus)
  3. It is only then that I will be seen righteous in His sight.
  4. He deserves our worship and submission.
  5. The world shall take note of you.
  6. And they will seek your help and favor for He is with you.
Lord, may I listen and take heed to your Word always. Help me forget the sinful and imperfect identity even though sometimes I put it on again and left guilty. Let my first priority be only You, in words and in deed. I thank You that through Your Son, I am made beautiful in Your sight. Therefore I will worship You forever because of Your great and mighty Name. And the world will see that You are Lord, You are Lord!