Cruising the Fast Lane

Rainy days has finally started. I like it because I can cuddle into bed and put on a blanket and be covered all over because its chilly. Few people know that I'm "scared" of cold, just like a cat. Nowadays the warm and cold weathers are like tugging each other so people are getting sick. I myself am experiencing a little throat irritation...

Anyway, things have been fast-paced lately. School and ministry. School is great. I'm really enjoying this semester. Yesterday had a class with Dr. T, which finally I was able to come to his class after two consecutive absences--first was because of my Indonesia trip and second because of the flat tire! I am really blessed in his class. The way he teaches narrative is very engaging. He always tell us that he teaches differently that's why some people get weirdoed with him. But actually I really get his method. Did I tell you that Dr. T became a devoted student of George E. Ladd during his Fuller Seminary days? So I was telling a friend that we are grand-students of Ladd. Hehe. In my Hebrew 3 class, it's very cool to read Genesis in Hebrew. But learning new insights about the texts that we're reading pays off the most.

Finally I got to settle today at home. Wednesday is my new day-off. I just go for bible study in our Valenzuela church in the evening.

After much prayer and hope, our youth ministry finally got a major breakthrough in our Universidad de Manila outreach (whose name was reverted again to City College of Manila). On Saturday, we are going to conduct a Spiritual Formation seminar from 9-3PM. We'll be doing Maximizing Your Learning Power, Discovering Your Purpose in Life Seminar and an Inspirational Challenge (Extra challenge) at the end of the seminars. The dean of the nursing college who goes to ICS, Netty's church, have been supporting us since day one buy allowing us to conduct bible study in the campus so that we have much presence now in the campus. Netty herself have been a blessing to me when we minister to students there. We're currently doing three campus Carecells in UDM (Weds, 6PM; Fri, 3PM and Sat, 3PM) and praying that in these cellgroups leaders will be born and more Carecells will be formed.

Please pray with us that hearts will be turned and surrendered to our Lord during this event. Even now the enemy is trying to hinder our work by weighing some of our volunteers down with sicknesses and evil visitations. But as I pray and meditated on His Word, he reminds me of Luke 10:19, "I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." Praise God for His mighty promises!

Can't Ignore His Presence

Yesterday was a very fruitful day. Tiring but very blessed. We had our first discipleship training after our community outreach last week. Coming from Malinta, I arrived quite early at VFGFC. It was 3PM. I thought I could have some rest and preparation before the time comes. I texted friends I made from last week. They are also undergoing discipleship training. I am zooming in on two specific youths, Danny and Arcy. And they joined me as I pass the time.

Early last week during our community promotion, we came to their house armed with flyers of the event. Their friends/family were quite a unique bunch. A cool mom, her children, and their friends, some were gays and lesbians. Reveling over cigarettes at other times beer and gambling. I tried to be as "Christian" as possible. But soon I was losing my patience because some were trying joke me around. Zarah Grace was patient partner. Leaving their compound I aired my frustration with my partner. Later I thought and was amazed at how would Jesus handle it as he befriended "tax collectors and sinners." WWJD? But throughout the 5 day outreach, Danny's mom and their children participated in the events, walang mintis. They were drawn by the joyful atmosphere and impartiality in church that by the end of our outreach they received Jesus and signed up for weekly discipleship.

That afternoon, we decided to start our discipleship which was supposed to be in the evening. Even if it was just the first lesson and preliminaries there was such joy in our fellowship. They were opening up experiences they said they've never told anyone yet. They were eager to read the Bible and learn it. Even though I know they're still into cigarettes and drinking, I'm just overwhelmed that God is doing something in their lives; and I believe and pray that one day they will give it up for following Jesus. By evening they've gathered by the church foyer, with some friends from their group (they made this group which they say is composed of around 40 youths), and I was able to counsel one who just broke up with her girlfriend (they were 7 years old apart and the girl is 13 years old!) Danny and Arcy shared to me that since our outreach events, Arcy had already a difficult time cursing (saying bad words) and their friends were noticing it teasing her makaDiyos; and they were trying to tell their friends to come to church because there's something happy and light about the place. Truly when God's presence dwells, there's just something different one can't help but not ignore it.

Please continue to pray for our work in Valenzuela. Our goal to raise up youth leaders who will join us in reaching the whole community for Christ. Also pray for our students, Danny and Arcy and the other youths who are undergoing training. To God be the glory!

["Ayawan Na": Taken during the Church-based Campus Ministry Consultation in Baguio City last February 2. More pics here.]

This evening we at Book of Hope had this event called Hope Celebration wherein we invite our supporters and friends for a dinner treat and program to show appreciation to them. This was my first time to be in one. It was held in Holiday Inn in Ortigas. It was fun. I was encouraged by the message of Bob Hoskins, founder of BOH, on how God's Word has moved in the lives of the youth and the nations. It reaffirms and encourages me to go on pursuing the task that God has called me to. The whole program was smooth. Even the testimonies of the people touched by BOH were encouraging.

This morning naman, I had a great time with the students I do bible study with in Universidad de Manila. We met at Annie's place, because it was her mom's birthday. We had a fun time during our discussion about "Understanding the Opposite Sex" in time for Valentines. Great time, great food. Before I left for Ortigas, we had a chance to pray for her mom who is by the way already 60 years old.

This past few days I've been experiencing body aches when I wake in the morning. I noticed it began when I started going back to office. It's not the stress in the office, I think it's the long drive from house to office to school...

This evening also, I was able to meet Councilor of 5th District of Manila Boy Isip. We've been trying to get in touch with him in City Hall late last year in order to get recommendations to get through UDM gates. I was amazed when he and his wife was there in Hope Celebration. And Kuya James knows them! Kuya James is one of the BOH field workers and within this month they are distributing BOH in UDM! Wow, God is really good! He was able to reintroduce me to them again, now with much attention (because last time they were like not to interested in us). Praise God!

These past few days are joyful days, my hands are full in ministering to the youth and it's really a blessing. Netty's taking two days off now in her dental work and she's also ministering to youth. She'll join me when I go to UDM. She's really great, being supportive and all. With the Valentines season around the corner, it's been a discussion among the youth, and I always tell them how a relationship becomes a blessing when instead of pulling away from God, that love relationship draws both man and woman to Him. And it's so true.

Prayer requests:

• Favor from Councilor Boy Isip for recommendation to do campus ministry inside Universidad de Manila.
• Physical strength and stamina
• Me and Netty
• Growth in ministry and leaders
  

Evaluating the eight spokes of my life (Warning: it's an endless post)

Morning. I'm supposed to have a video coverage today with my pastor in our church planting site in Valenzuela. After taking a bath and a shave, he called to say our meeting would be cancelled because he isn't feeling well. Oh well, it's cool. I have the morning to blog and re-evaluate.

The year's almost coming to an end. I'd say every year is a season of pruning, learning, building relationships, molding and discovering. I have matured and continuing to do so. I am blessed with opportunities to make an impact in several ways. I believe this year's a time of preparation and refinement of my call, all in God's sovereign purpose of which I am or may not be aware of. I have become a multi-tasker, which at first I like doing, but now gets the toll on my health, though not in a serious way, but if I wouldn't take care of myself it would be heading there.

I would like to evaluate myself based on the 8 spokes of life (I learned this from Dr. Chuck Quinley when I was in his Personal Life Management class, so good): Spiritual, family, health, social, ministry, career, financial and personal.

Spiritual life. My personal relationship with the Lord. There are times its on a high, there are times its on a low - mostly because of my doing. I am not yet perfect, but I thank Him that He continues to reveal who He is to me. Truly when you get to know Him more, the more you have reasons to love Him. He is a loving Father. I wouldn't forget what Ptr. Tom said during the young adults convergence back in October, that I cannot pretend before God. This helps me to come before Him not pretending to be OK when I'm not and to freely worship Him with more "undignity" because He deserves it. I am not content with my relationship with Him, though I'm thankful with what I have now. I want it to be stronger, me more broken and sensitive to His will.

Family. My family is doing OK. I have loving parents and a great brother. The issue with work doesn't resurface often anymore. I try to help the best I could. I love them, and sometimes it hits me when the time would come that they or I won't be around. Honestly it gives me an adult fear. I just wish that my parents would spend and love "life" with us together. If got the chance I would like to take them to the beach or picnic or something. Enjoy something together as a family. Isn't that the father's initiative?

Health. I have no continuous source of exercice except for walking and walking and walking. I thank God that I have not suffer any serious illness because of too much work. But there are times when sleep is less, I just want a good and complete sleep. I take vitamins to cope up with loss of natural source of healthy lifestyle (food, exercise, sleep), whom some say is already a point of concern because of that mindset. I do Badminton once in a while and I would like to make it more routinal. I do eat a lot, because I love eating and it's obvious that I've gained weight specially on the tummy. I would like to hit the gym again, which is only inches away (I have a benchpress at home which is collecting cobwebs). But it's not so bad. With my tasks God continues to give grace so that my body won't break down. And I believe that when it's God's work you're doing He has your health insurace covered, just don't push it.

Social. I am blessed with friends in the ministry especially those whom I could share life, struggles and dreams with without trying to be a hero. They are hidden springs who I can retreat to and just remind myself that I'm just a human who need friends. I appreciate ministry relationships with colleagues and the younger leaders whom I am fond of. Even my relationship with our youth core I appreciate, truly we are growing together and maturing, some of the fruits we are enjoying as I write. I am glad that my past relationships is continuing to heal and has covered much ground. I've learned a lot. I am amazed at how God needed to whack me more than once to get His point across. Now I got it. Today I'm going out with and getting to know someone whom I so fond of spending time with. And now I have placed God in the center of that relationship. In due time I will talk about her more here.

Ministry. What else could I say about this. I'm humbled that God would open opportunities to serve Him as a youth pastor, a sectional youth coordinator, a campus worker and a ministry product developer.. and some more that could use some help in between. Though it's pushing itself into my other spokes, which is a point of concern. It's not more an issue of health, toil is nothing when you love doing what you're doing, but of relationships that are endangered to be neglected and taken for granted. I've specially committed myself to work on my relationships especially my love life on a competitive priority, because in order a desired goal to really happen one should give time and effort right? Ministry-wise I am content with what He has given me and I just want to cultivate and let them grow.

Career. Being a designer lately has been a source of stress for me. With the demands of ministry I still have to push them into the schedule. But what's one gotta do in order to provide for his family? I love expressing art and executing creativity, but pulling in the next payment for the bills gets the greater purpose of work today. It's a thing to be done. School on average demands time and energy, it's a non-negotiable. My season in the bible school I realized is a time of refining and unveiling of His long-term purpose for my ministry. I am glad that I have this season to really pray and discern what He wants me to do when I get out.

Financial. The bottom line - I'm still alive. I thank Him that He meets both ends. There are times of abundance and lack, but just like Paul say, I learn to be content with the current season. Learning to trust Him for my needs and my family's. Though I need to trim down on excesses because I'm a self-confessed extravagant sometimes even impulsive spender.

Personal. Am I happy with my life? Yes? Though sometimes my face doesn't show it, mukha lang talaga akong bato. But I'm happy with what He is doing in my life. I don't know where I'd be if I never knew Him. I learned to not to copy other people because I am my unique self, with my own ways to express care and love for others. I tend not to listen to other people's judgments anymore because my real friends know me. I'm not rude, just introvert, I was chatting with Chad of Cebu about this one time because I learned that we have almost the same personality and personality struggles. I learned I'm not really suplado, just shy. And the real solution is not to change from being suplado to "hi-hello" friendliness which could sometimes be hyporcitical, but to change from being shy to being confident in the Lord, now that's biblical (1Ti 1:7).

Congratulations if you finished reading this post. It's a bit long. It's more for me, progressive evaluation and discovery of myself. I constantly need your prayers, I sincerely believe they work wonders in my life.

This week finished off good. God is so good. Even last few days have been cramming to the max, I still managed to do them with God's help.

Last Friday, I dropped by the office to meet my boss. She just came from Japan. I'm glad that our ordeal with the e-mail thing is over. It's really great to be back working again together with her. I admit I'm not so good with minor supervision, which I'm trying to work on now that it dawned to me. But it was a refresher that I'm back at the office. I realized I missed that sense of industry in me and I needed that.

Saturday, our youth is getting better now that we're doing fellowship and cellgroups alternately. I'm glad that I have a reliable set of leaders (Zarah, Candy, Brznf, Lawrence, Zarah Grace, Richard) that shares the passion and responsibilities in ministering to the youth. They make my tasks easier and manage with the different responsbilities going on with me.

I don't like it right now that I'm such a busy person. Last few weeks have been a wakener for me when all ministry roles demanded so much from me, particularly from Book of Hope and Chi-Alpha. I mean I love them all but I can't be at two places. These are the times when you just want to duplicate myself or something (but that won't be good either). But man, I have to refocus. In fact, now that I think of it, it would be better if I focus all my energies to a few things. Including relationships. People say I've been focusing too much on ministry that's why I'm missing out on relationships. Which I think is true.

Sunday, I spoke today on Isaiah 40:27-31. It was a timely message for all of us. I have to wait on the Lord. There's something remarkable about speaking to yourself as you speak to people. I crammed a bit about getting the message out and without Him it would be a disaster. It was all Him who touched the hearts of the people, gave me enough strength to proclaim His Word with confidence and conviction. Today I just spoke about how great our God is.. that's what we ought to hear for so long. I feel we've been teaching people to fix their own problems, much like a self-help book, when all we need to do is to speak of our God, His love, His mercy, His power, His greatness, His holiness and it would move hearts of people longing for an intimate fellowship with Him. I'm grateful for my Worship and Music professor Roce Anog for teaching me that.

It's not about us. It's all about Him.

Please include me in your prayers:

• Financial support for 2nd semester
• Physical, emotional and mental strength and protection against enemy attacks
  
• BFGFC youth ministry, discipleship and campus ministry
• Relationships
  

I felt discouraged last night about our band practice. For the nth time there was again conflict between our band members and the sound tech (even if I already preached on conflict management last time!) I felt there was injustice. It left a band member hopelessly crying. I came to church prepared and light-hearted, I was the prayer meeting leader. And all members even were part of the prayer meeting, then for a short-span of time, they just placed everything on the garbage. What an insult to the Spirit of God. Shame. It's like we're living on the flesh and ignoring the spiritual essenses of being a body of Christ. I left with a headache. Good thing the pastor's wife was there to soften the tension. But she too was very concerned.

There seems no hope for our church. Only Christ's love and presence will change all this. It was like the Spirit was lifted off our church. Everything's a routine, mediocrity, and going about the motions. Going home I thought, what's the use of a church who doesn't produce souls for already such a long time? We are just spending money, time, energy maintaining people so that they won't leave the church. What's the use of a church who doesn't fulfill it's three-fold Commission? Really. These are the times that I would just want out. Too bad the reason why I'm so affected because I love this church so much.

Today I had to refuse my speaking engagement in another youth group next week. It was a hard call. But I need to attend to our youth. For sometime now we have inconsistent meetings due to outside activities and the storm.

Lord, I'm getting losing hope. Change our hearts and let us be searing-hot passionate for you.

Cease striving and know that I am God.

Please pray with me as there are opportunities for me to go out Singapore for the Carecell Conference in Trinity Christian Church and Indonesia for the Asia Pacific Youth Conference. For the future.