Confrontation with God

Long ago, the patriarch Jacob had encamped, and during the night, someone had entered his tent and wrestled with him until daybreak. Jacob accepted the combat, even knowing that his adversary was the Lord. At morning, he had still not been defeated; and the combat ceased only when God agreed to bless him.

The story had been transmitted from generation to generation so that no one would ever forget: sometimes it was necessary to struggle with God. Every human being at some time had tragedy enter his life; it might be the destruction of a city, the death of a son, an unproved accusation, a sickness that left one lame forever. At that moment, God challenged one to confront Him and to answer His question: "Why dost thou cling fast to an existence so short and so filled with suffering? What is the meaning of thy struggle?"

The man who did not know how to answer this question would resign himself, while another, one who sought a meaning to existence, feeling that God had been unjust, would challenge his own destiny. It was at this moment that fire of a different type descended from the heavens - not the fire that kills but the kind that tears down ancient walls and imparts to each human being his true possibilities. Cowards never allow their hearts to blaze with this fire; all they desire is for the changed situation to quickly return to what it was before, so they can go on living their lives and thinking in their customary way. The brave, however, set afire that which was old and, even at the cost of great internal suffering abandon everything, including God, and continue onward.

"The brave are always stubborn."

From heaven, God smiles contentedly, for it was this that He desired, that each person take in his hands the responsibility for his own life. For, in the final analysis, He had given His children the greatest of all gifts: the capacity to choose and determine their acts.

Only those men and women with the sacred flame in their hearts had the courage to confront Him. And they alone knew the path back to His love, for they understood that tragedy was not punishment but challenge.

~ Paulo Coelho, "The Fifth Mountain." pp 203-204.

Coelho's Take on Elijah

Got this yesterday at Viramall. The Fifth Mountain is Coelho's take on the story of the Bible's Elijah and his struggle with his calling, God and his arch-nemesis Queen Jezebel. Reading it's few pages I was able to relate to Coelho's Elijah, his initial struggle with his calling and purpose in life. I believe this will be a good read.

Two new books for my library. Bought last night at Fully Booked in Rockwell Powerplant:

Strengthening Your Grip by Charles Swindoll



Risk by Kenny Luck, Men's pastor, Saddleback Church

I'm currently reading this book I found while I'm in APTS called The Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. I have already seen it before at the ASCM library when a friend pointed it out to me and had made such impression that I knew I would read it soon. When I saw it in APTS bookstore it was the last one and as I flip through the pages an excerpt on simplicity immediately caught my eye. Indeed, how does one celebrate discipline? It seems those two words are contradictory. I believe I will soon discover. Reading through the pages, there are great insights from this seasoned disciple.

Foster gives a fresh perspective on working in and out our righteousness (salvation for Rick Warren). He calls it objective and subjective righteousness. Latter being righteousness achieved by discipline and the former achieved by grace alone. The two are inseparable. Even the new testament had little distinction between the two because it was already understood that they come in one package. I liked how he explained that achieving righteousness is like growing a plant.. God alone can make it grow (grace) but it's the job of the farmer to cultivate it, water it and create the condition for its growth (discipline).

Going back to the YA event. There had been tons of memorable insights from all the sessions of the event. We had this speaker who went in as a sub for an absent speaker but Tom Bohnert's message perhaps penetrated deepest to the heart of the people. He talked about the love of God. I'm struck at how one could make an organized thesis from what seemed a basic, even diluted, topic. His insight on the healing of the leprous man by Jesus captured how we often judge ourselves so strictly and we would ask God "if" He want to make us clean when in fact He is delighted and readily willing to do it for us, because He loves us. He loves us because He is our Father. Sometimes we project our impression of Him through our perception of our earthly fathers and other people, but hearing that as a Father, God loves still love us even if we get into mess. Now this should not be grounds for abusing His love. Paul talks about how Freedom should make us love Him even more. Foster talks about sin that it is something that cannot be scored, that sinfulness is a state of being. Therefore God doesn't keep score of our sins when in fact our whole being is sin, until Jesus made Himself as sin in our place. I believe in order to worship God, one must know and discover His being first. Even though it wouldn't be possible to fully unfold His glorious Being, understanding and experiencing His Fatherly love alone satisfies that "God-shaped" hole in our being.

I've been reading this fabulous book by Steve Farrar entitled "Finishing Strong." Finishing Strong is an easy read. Farrar is like a father instructing his son about life. Incidentally "finishing strong" is such a big word in our church community life. Finishing strong meant to finish this life victoriously, not missing the target. It doesn't matter how you start the race.. as long as you finish STRONG. I've realized that I am far from being exempted from falling away. It lingers around like a predator waiting for his prey's sign of weakness. My prayer for sometime is "Lord, please, let me finish strong. I want to finish strong."

Few days ago, I started reading The Alchemist again, finally I'm understanding it. First time I read it was a hard read. I'm enjoying it now. Now it speaks to me. I feel for Santiago the shepherd. How he met the old king and went to journey for his Personal Legend yet to realize that it was not an easy feat that he begins to doubt his Personal Legend. But one thing pushes him to pursue: the old kings prophectic words. Sometimes sitautions shake your faith, cause you to be discouraged and wish to head back home. But the thing that keeps me pursuing my Personal Legend is His call and promise in my life.

Finally after a long-time searching I finally found this book in this month's Powerbooks Sale just sitting by itself on a shelf. This afternoon was spent walking around the mall while waiting for my evening class. This morning, I woke up in panic as I was awaken by my mom to find out that it as zero minutes to my class! Last evening I told my dad to wake me up, but failed to wake me up on time. I remember waking up at 5AM from the cellphone alarm but put it on snooze. So I came in to class at 10AM, an hour after class start.