Confrontation with God

Long ago, the patriarch Jacob had encamped, and during the night, someone had entered his tent and wrestled with him until daybreak. Jacob accepted the combat, even knowing that his adversary was the Lord. At morning, he had still not been defeated; and the combat ceased only when God agreed to bless him.

The story had been transmitted from generation to generation so that no one would ever forget: sometimes it was necessary to struggle with God. Every human being at some time had tragedy enter his life; it might be the destruction of a city, the death of a son, an unproved accusation, a sickness that left one lame forever. At that moment, God challenged one to confront Him and to answer His question: "Why dost thou cling fast to an existence so short and so filled with suffering? What is the meaning of thy struggle?"

The man who did not know how to answer this question would resign himself, while another, one who sought a meaning to existence, feeling that God had been unjust, would challenge his own destiny. It was at this moment that fire of a different type descended from the heavens - not the fire that kills but the kind that tears down ancient walls and imparts to each human being his true possibilities. Cowards never allow their hearts to blaze with this fire; all they desire is for the changed situation to quickly return to what it was before, so they can go on living their lives and thinking in their customary way. The brave, however, set afire that which was old and, even at the cost of great internal suffering abandon everything, including God, and continue onward.

"The brave are always stubborn."

From heaven, God smiles contentedly, for it was this that He desired, that each person take in his hands the responsibility for his own life. For, in the final analysis, He had given His children the greatest of all gifts: the capacity to choose and determine their acts.

Only those men and women with the sacred flame in their hearts had the courage to confront Him. And they alone knew the path back to His love, for they understood that tragedy was not punishment but challenge.

~ Paulo Coelho, "The Fifth Mountain." pp 203-204.

Coelho's Take on Elijah

Got this yesterday at Viramall. The Fifth Mountain is Coelho's take on the story of the Bible's Elijah and his struggle with his calling, God and his arch-nemesis Queen Jezebel. Reading it's few pages I was able to relate to Coelho's Elijah, his initial struggle with his calling and purpose in life. I believe this will be a good read.

Woke up this morning and a hostage drama is on TV. Some guy, who would soon be known as Jun Ducat, made hostage of 32 pre-school children with their teachers. The news was even on cable news channels. I left home with not knowing if the hostage drama was resolved. But as it turns out, the hostage taker surrendered, after negotiations from political celebrities and the children were safe. This guy ought to be in jail. I think he’s mad. Putting helpless children in danger for motives however of good intent is unjust. He was like a child who threw tantrums because he didn’t get what he wanted – a government free of corruption. I mean we all want that. But this isn’t the way to do it, fighting evil with evil. I was even more irked watching an interview of a grandmother of a released child sympathizing with the hostage taker and justifying his actions. That makes me think, what kind of a society do we have? Could that be the general mindset of the masang Filipino (masses)? I feel that people are frustrated and losing hope and there's no other resolve but to give in, diluting our judgments. I hope not. I think we ought to stop blaming other people for our conditions because we in some ways have dipped in to make it so. Do your duty and let others follow. And even if nobody else follows, God upholds the righteous and never lets his work go down the drain.

I’ve been reading Paulo Coelho’s “Like the Flowing River” and it keeps on speaking to me. A writer does have a way with words that are sometimes hard to express and concretize. His views are Christian-like and it makes me think that he could be a believer or a really good enlightened Catholic. He’s been speaking to me about solitude; that sometimes I need to just stop and smell the roses. Reflect on the day that has past. What good have I done? What have contributed today in the fulfillment of my “personal legend”? It is true when he wrote that often we equate our importance and value by our busyness. And we view solitude as uselessness to the world. But it is when we are in solitude that we see who we really are and listen to that still small voice that affirms that we are loved and cared for. I think I am going to be influenced by Coelho’s philosophy of life.

I hope that I could be like him in the aspect of traveling, less than halfway through the book he has accounted for staying and traveling to various places on the planet. And the better thing is that while he does it he sees the meaning of life.

Technology has become one of soul’s worst enemies. Television and the Internet has placed us in a receiving mode robbing us of time to contemplate and give out.

In lieu of recent events I think being a negotiator is a really cool job. I like the thought of dismantling tragedy by untangling a distorted person’s emotion and mind. It is now one of my dream jobs or jobs-in-a-parallel-universe along with being a scientist/researcher in field such as archeologists or biologists and being a flight attendant (just ask me why when we meet). Nonetheless, being a youth pastor, designer and student is a really cool job.



Today I did multimedia for our school’s graduation. It’s always great when people’s goals become a reality. It’s sad though because most of my classmates during my first semester in ASCM of which became some of my friends in school has graduated and will be going back to their country and ministry. Two finished their doctorates. I still haven’t got the motivation to pursue doctorate studies. I must look back on my calling God has given me. I still have a long way to go. I have already completed 45 of the 96 required units to complete. I am afraid to ask why am I doing this for fear that I may get a confused answer. Am I still doing it for God or for men? Coelho writes about the danger of missing the value of what we are doing because we when we focus too much on the rules, we start not to enjoy the task that we are doing. Indeed my existence in bible school has equipped and molded me to become the person I am today. I hope that when I reach the end of this race my goal will still be the same and more refined since the day I entered it.



Tonight Netty and I celebrated our 3rd monthsary. It’s as if it’s been a long time. Tonight she really looked lovely, though I forgot to tell her that. Sometimes she catches me just studying her profile. We had a delightful pasta dinner and dessert at DQ which has become a habit of ours every time we go to G4 or Gateway. She gave me a gift – an electric toothbrush – which recently I told her that I wanted one but not because I was hinting for a monthsary gift. I gave her a Patrick Star stuffed toy so that she will be reminded of me minus the dumbness of Patrick Star. Third month, the initial romance level is being normalized. She tease me as unromantic and un-gentleman which I am not – totally. But with our feet returning to the ground I have realized that our commitment for each other is revealed. And with that I am really, really happy and content. Pray that our commitment for each other will be as hard as diamond.

Pray for me:

• I’m traveling on April 2-3 to Pila, Laguna for a ministry meeting. I might be driving. Please pray for safety on the road.
• I’ll be speaking in two camps on April 24-25 in Olongapo and May 3 in Taytay. Please pray that God will use me as His mouthpiece and touch the heart and soul of the ears that will hear me speak. Lord empty me so that You’ll flow thru me.
• Pray for my financial provisions. Indeed God is always faithful and I continue to learn to trust Him in this aspect.

Today I went to Makati to pick up the graduation pics of our school. I'm in charge of the multimedia on our school's graduation ceremonies. Before that I went to pick up the Hebrew Book I photocopied in Asturias. Ahh, the UST days. Went to Glorietta, Netty and I were gonna watch 300, finally much anticipation because everyone who saw it recommended it. So for 3 hours I walked around G4 and Greenbelt 3, going around bookstores free reading. Finally I was able to find the book I was looking for months now, I forgot the title and author until I saw it on the shelf again. It is Paulo Coehlo's "Like the Flowing River." It's a collection of the authors reflections and thoughts. After spending some time reading its first 30 pages at Fruit Magic, I am more amazed at how this guy writes. Some memorable entries are "The Story of the Pencil," "How to Climb a Mountain," and the story about Genghis Khan.



"300" was a good movie. I am reminded by the movie "Gladiator" when I saw it. The movie is about the king of Sparta and how he and his 300 men fought the advancing Persian kingdom. The movie was rated R for violence and nudity. I liked the cinematography of the film which by the way was 100% shot behind blue/green screens. But most of all, I liked it because I was affirmed by the movie's leadership insights (though it's hardly their intention). His leadership is something to be admired and acquired. He lead his men to war: Leaders ought to be in the front lines, not like chess players playing their soldiers. He was relevant yet had commanding authority. He was respected by his men and they were loyal to him. I hope that's how I'm practicing my leadership.