"Therefore they spent a long time there speaking boldly with reliance upon the Lord, who was testifying to the word of His grace, granting that signs and wonders be done by their hands." Acts 14:3

Lord help me to speak of You with boldness, with confidence not set upon myself but of the assurance that Your Words will accomplish its task, with total reliance and understanding that You alone have the authority and ability to turn unbelieving hearts around back to You.

"God didn't give us a spirit of timidity but of power, love and discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

"Depart now from the tents of the wicked and touch nothing that belongs to them or you will be swept away in all of their sin." Numbers 16:26

"Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord which He will accomplish for you today ... The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent."

Exodus 14:13-14

"The Lord is my strength and my song, and He has become my salvation. This is my God and I will praise Him ... Who is like You among the gods, O Lord? Who is like You, majestic in holiness, awesome in praises, working wonders?"

Exodus 15

Set a guard over my mouth, Oh Lord
keep watch over the door of my lips
Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil
to take part in the wicked deeds with men who are evildoers
let me not eat their delicacies ...
But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign Lord
in you I take refuge - do not give me over to death
Keep me from the snares they have laid for me,
from the traps set by evildoers

Psalm 141

Zechariah 2:5, "For I ... will be a wall of fire around [you], and I will be the glory in [your] midst."

Christmas is a time of celebration. And it's also a time to meet the relatives. And sometimes it's intimidating to catch up with what's happening with each other's lives. And there's that feeling again of self-belittlement resurfacing. Not that I measure myself by the standard of others. It's just at the back of my heart I've realized that I want to make my parents proud of their children. I want to ask them if they are proud of me. And I'm not sure if I'm doing a great job at it. Yeah, God's Word is the only one that matters. But they are my parents and I just want them to be happy. These are times when you have no place to run and hide but to God. He said I am "the apple of His eye" (Zechariah 2:8) and those who even try to touch the apple of His eye will really get whacked. Lord, I am nothing and You alone are the glory in my life. Forgive me that I had this feeling that belittles Your power and being. Thank you the Word that sustains me. I may have nothing to boast about by the world's standard but in You I know that You are my inheritance and portion.

When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:

"Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!"
"Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!"

Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, "Teacher, rebuke your disciples!"

"I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out."

As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, "If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you." (Luke 19:37-44)

I remembered this passage during our practice last night for the APAW this coming Sunday. It doesn't matter how skilled we do our thing, for this is not what the Lord really looks at. He looks at the heart. Never restrain yourself from giving glory to God because you are "just youth" indeed as Jesus said, if we stop, "stones will cry out." We have to recognize God's heart and let our hearts align with His. For when this happens, greater things happen. "Recognize the time of God's coming to you."

Today I am really amazed at the prophet Jeremiah as I read Lamentations how despite his depression and utter sadness in the first 2 chapters he still manages to keep straight and without blemish his perspective on God:

I am the man who has seen affliction
Because of the rod of His wrath.

Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness.
Surely my soul remembers
And is bowed down within me.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.

The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.

"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"Therefore I have hope in Him."
The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the LORD. (Lamentations 3)

Lord, uncloud my eyes that I may watch your faithfulness prove itself pure in the midst of testing. You are my inheritance and I will ask no more. I know you are faithful to save those whose hope is in you.

Finally I was able to get rest today. I was able to spend a good devotional time. I sought Him, even though it was hard to get back at first. But after my devotional time... God really speaks in different ways.. It's amazing. While I was watching a feature about ASEAN bio-diversity, He pointed me to a peculiar creature of the sea... a nudibranch - or sea slug. These small colorful creatures are related to the snails and inhabit the coral reefs. Then I thought how God took time and energy and such creativity to create these astounding creatures. I remembered how Jesus tells us that God cares for His creatures,

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father... So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows (Matthew 10:29-31).

There was God's love right there. I was watching this documentary and I was teary-eyed. I could imagine how God's inifinite greatness created these creature, how much more he created someone in His likeness, in His image, given us a portion of His being. He loved me.

Psalm 45:10-12 (NASB)

Listen, O daughter, give attention and incline your ear:
Forget your people and your father's house;
Then the King will desire your beauty.
Because He is your Lord, bow down to Him.
The daughter of Tyre will come with a gift;
The rich among the people will seek your favor.

1. As a son of God, I must listen and take heed to the Words of the Father.
2. I must put off my identity for His identity; I should put Him above all relationships. ("He who doesn't hate his father or mother is not worthy of Me" - Jesus)
   
3. It is only then that I will be seen righteous in His sight.
4. He deserves our worship and submission.
5. The world shall take note of you.
6. And they will seek your help and favor for He is with you.

Lord, may I listen and take heed to your Word always. Help me forget the sinful and imperfect identity even though sometimes I put it on again and left guilty. Let my first priority be only You, in words and in deed. I thank You that through Your Son, I am made beautiful in Your sight. Therefore I will worship You forever because of Your great and mighty Name. And the world will see that You are Lord, You are Lord!