Library. Done my last finals exam for this sem. But not yet off cramming for papers. At the moment I'm working on my projects. Some of it already lagging behind. Have a meeting with a client this afternoon.

Waiting for this huge load of a file to be uploaded to be sent to Japan where my boss is currently in a hotel and will be leaving tomorrow morning. I'm very sleepy now, not to mention I have a 9AM class tomorrow - finals. Last finals exam. Yey. But can't escape the papers though. This evening was my exam in Hebrew. Man, that exam was excruciating. Though I got through it, I just missed some word forms. Anyway, the file has finally uploaded. Off to bed!

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for...

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them...

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they (better things) be made perfect.

Hebrews 11

Playing from the sides as the people worship I thought, there is still hope. It's not so bad after all, meaning there's still a silver lining on every cloud right. It's just one of those things being in the moment when you think it sucks. This morning was an overwhelming presence of God. I am grateful for His amazing grace - AMAZING indeed. Recovering from burn-out is one of the greatest waterfalls of life. "Finishing Strong" has really helped me get back on track. A fellowship restored, an intimate bond revived. I am praying for His will for me right now, pray also for me that He may reveal it to me soon. For now I just want to bask in His presence.

Cool Change

by Little River Band

If there's one thing in my life that's missing | It's the time I spend alone | Sailing on the cool and bright clear waters

There's lots of those friendly people | Showin me ways to go | And I never want to lose your inspiration

[+] Time for a cool change | I know that it's time for a cool change | Now that my life is so pre-arranged | I know that it's time for a cool change

Well I was born in the sign of water | And it's there that I feel my best | The albatross and the whales they are my brothers

It's kind of a special feeling | When you're out on the sea alone | Starin' at the full moon like a lover

Well I've never been romantic | And sometimes I don't care | I know it may sound selfish | But let me breathe the air

A make-shift studio at church. These are people who keep me pursuing the cause for which Christ has died for. Go Firebrands!

I felt discouraged last night about our band practice. For the nth time there was again conflict between our band members and the sound tech (even if I already preached on conflict management last time!) I felt there was injustice. It left a band member hopelessly crying. I came to church prepared and light-hearted, I was the prayer meeting leader. And all members even were part of the prayer meeting, then for a short-span of time, they just placed everything on the garbage. What an insult to the Spirit of God. Shame. It's like we're living on the flesh and ignoring the spiritual essenses of being a body of Christ. I left with a headache. Good thing the pastor's wife was there to soften the tension. But she too was very concerned.

There seems no hope for our church. Only Christ's love and presence will change all this. It was like the Spirit was lifted off our church. Everything's a routine, mediocrity, and going about the motions. Going home I thought, what's the use of a church who doesn't produce souls for already such a long time? We are just spending money, time, energy maintaining people so that they won't leave the church. What's the use of a church who doesn't fulfill it's three-fold Commission? Really. These are the times that I would just want out. Too bad the reason why I'm so affected because I love this church so much.

Today I had to refuse my speaking engagement in another youth group next week. It was a hard call. But I need to attend to our youth. For sometime now we have inconsistent meetings due to outside activities and the storm.

Lord, I'm getting losing hope. Change our hearts and let us be searing-hot passionate for you.

Cease striving and know that I am God.

Please pray with me as there are opportunities for me to go out Singapore for the Carecell Conference in Trinity Christian Church and Indonesia for the Asia Pacific Youth Conference. For the future.

Idasal Mo

by Pinikpikan

Walang hanggan ang lakbay ng diwa
'Wag mo na lang piliting alamin pa
Tama na ang nakaapak sa lupa
Isipan mo naman ang syang gagala

May gagawin pa tayo sa mundo
Pagmamahal ang sasagip sayo
At kung sapat na ang pag-ibig
Ang mundo'y lilipad kasama tayo

At makiramdam sa paglalakbay, ingat lang
Sakaling ikaw ay maligaw ay banggitin mo Siya

Idasal mo idasal
Buhayin ang pagmamahal
Idasal mo idasal
Buhayin ang pagmamahal

I've been reading this fabulous book by Steve Farrar entitled "Finishing Strong." Finishing Strong is an easy read. Farrar is like a father instructing his son about life. Incidentally "finishing strong" is such a big word in our church community life. Finishing strong meant to finish this life victoriously, not missing the target. It doesn't matter how you start the race.. as long as you finish STRONG. I've realized that I am far from being exempted from falling away. It lingers around like a predator waiting for his prey's sign of weakness. My prayer for sometime is "Lord, please, let me finish strong. I want to finish strong."

I wrote in a pad last week...

"I'm sitting at a restaurant bar looking across a pool of tables. People eating, coversing. Some eating by themselves. As I observe I ask myself, "What could be going on her mind? Is she aware of her aloneness? Is she happy, contented?"

Why do people travel great lengths just be alone? Could it be pursuit of peace? Could it be that in doing so she would finally find her center, her being? Away from the prying eyes and hallow conversations. Perhaps life for her is just passing, where at one time you are here but tomorrow you go and hardly anyone notices?

Indeed life would be much bearable with someone to journey with.