Today marks our month-sary. We agreed to go to church together as thanksgiving to God for each other. After morning service, I met her in Megamall and then went to Word for the World in Makati, that's also where my school is. Never did I knew that God will confront me there.
The message hit me bullseye. As if God orchestrated for me to be there and admonish me. As I've shared before I've been experiencing frustrations in ministry for more than over a week now. And even if I managed to get my message across this morning, it was by God's grace. It's already draining my joy and getting up seemed hard. Ptr. Raymund Ladao's first intro was "have you ever experienced frustration?" His text is about the prophet Jeremiah dealing with his own frustrations and how God changed the course of his outloook. I've wallowed in this pit of self-pity and KSP-ness that I've become conceited and self-serving. God confronted me on my attitude and countenance. Some of his points were: People will frustrate us, do not let frustration get the best of you, God's justice comes in His time not our own, never focus on people, and ultimately focus your eyes of Jesus which is all that matters. During the altar call I've reconciled with Him knowing that these feelings doesn't glorify Him. I felt God's embrace and I couldn't help but cry as a wounded child-warrior to my Father's shoulder. I was yearning to meet Him this week, and I did. Truly it's amazing how God answers prayer!
I've realized the bittersweet life of being a pastor. There are victories and room for learning from the past. I think I already know how a parent feels when their children "doesn't need them anymore." The feeling of rejection just suffocates the heart. That's when I realize I've attached myself to the ministry and not anymore to Jesus in whom alone I must seek to please. I am not Superman, I am just as human who experiences moments of disillusionment just as the people I minister too. Please continually life me up in your prayers.
I'm doing better now. Praise God for His faithfulness.
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Jeremiah 12:5, "If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?"
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Jeremiah 20:9, "If I say, 'I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,' his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot."
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Hide me now under Your wings | Cover me with Your mighty hands | When the oceans rise and thunders roar | I will soar with You above the storm | Father, You are King over the flood | I will be still and know You are God
Find rest my soul in Christ alone | Know His power in quietness and trust | When the oceans rise and thunders roar | I will soar with You above the storm | Father, You are King over the flood | I will be still and know You are God
The message hit me bullseye. As if God orchestrated for me to be there and admonish me. As I've shared before I've been experiencing frustrations in ministry for more than over a week now. And even if I managed to get my message across this morning, it was by God's grace. It's already draining my joy and getting up seemed hard. Ptr. Raymund Ladao's first intro was "have you ever experienced frustration?" His text is about the prophet Jeremiah dealing with his own frustrations and how God changed the course of his outloook. I've wallowed in this pit of self-pity and KSP-ness that I've become conceited and self-serving. God confronted me on my attitude and countenance. Some of his points were: People will frustrate us, do not let frustration get the best of you, God's justice comes in His time not our own, never focus on people, and ultimately focus your eyes of Jesus which is all that matters. During the altar call I've reconciled with Him knowing that these feelings doesn't glorify Him. I felt God's embrace and I couldn't help but cry as a wounded child-warrior to my Father's shoulder. I was yearning to meet Him this week, and I did. Truly it's amazing how God answers prayer!
I've realized the bittersweet life of being a pastor. There are victories and room for learning from the past. I think I already know how a parent feels when their children "doesn't need them anymore." The feeling of rejection just suffocates the heart. That's when I realize I've attached myself to the ministry and not anymore to Jesus in whom alone I must seek to please. I am not Superman, I am just as human who experiences moments of disillusionment just as the people I minister too. Please continually life me up in your prayers.
I'm doing better now. Praise God for His faithfulness.
+
Jeremiah 12:5, "If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?"
+
Jeremiah 20:9, "If I say, 'I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,' his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot."
+
Hide me now under Your wings | Cover me with Your mighty hands | When the oceans rise and thunders roar | I will soar with You above the storm | Father, You are King over the flood | I will be still and know You are God
Find rest my soul in Christ alone | Know His power in quietness and trust | When the oceans rise and thunders roar | I will soar with You above the storm | Father, You are King over the flood | I will be still and know You are God
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