I enrolled this afternoon for second semester. I'm taking Hebrew 2, New Testament Theology and Pastoral Theology. I'm excited about Pastoral Theology subject. It will be taught by Ptr. Albert Clavo, senior pastor of Lighthouse Christian Community in Alabang. Downside is the class is from 9AM-4PM and will be held in LCC in Alabang, Muntinlupa. I have no idea, how to go there and how far it is, but I'm really excited to learn from Ptr. Clavo. I'm thinking I have to find a place to stay near Alabang Tuesday evenings because since the car is color-coded, it would be very difficult to commute from Caloocan to Muntinlupa, literally from north to south of Manila. After enrollment Erene, Mutya and I went to see a movie "Open Season" and had dinner.

Next week I'm off to APTS in Baguio for a young adults convergence. Then end of November I'm going to BOHOL!!! Finally. I'm going to dive with my dive buddies in Balicasag Island. This would be my second time to dive.

Joey Velasco's Hapag

I stumbled again upon this magnificent painting entitled Hapag by Joey Velasco at Clickthecity.com. First time I saw this was in a brochure at an art gallery in Megamall. Very moving piece.

We Will Wait

by Ron Kenoly

We will run and not grow weary | We will walk and will not faint | For the Lord will go before us | And His joy will be our strength | Mounting up with wings as eagles | As our spirits start to soar | When we come into His presence | And we wait upon the Lord

We will wait upon the Lord | For in His presence is fullness of joy | And our strength will be restored | As we wait upon the Lord

Nothing without You

by Bebo Norman

Take these hands and lift them up | For I have not the strength to praise You near enough | For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

Take my voice and pour it out | Let it sing the songs of mercy I have found | For I have nothing | I have nothing without You

[+] All my soul needs is all Your love to cover me | So all the world will see that I have nothing without You

Take my body and build it up | May it be broken as an offering of love | For I have nothing | I have nothing without You

With all my heart | With all my soul | With all my mind | With all the strength that I can find

Take my time here on this earth and let it glorify all that You are worth | For I am nothing | I am nothing without You

This week finished off good. God is so good. Even last few days have been cramming to the max, I still managed to do them with God's help.

Last Friday, I dropped by the office to meet my boss. She just came from Japan. I'm glad that our ordeal with the e-mail thing is over. It's really great to be back working again together with her. I admit I'm not so good with minor supervision, which I'm trying to work on now that it dawned to me. But it was a refresher that I'm back at the office. I realized I missed that sense of industry in me and I needed that.

Saturday, our youth is getting better now that we're doing fellowship and cellgroups alternately. I'm glad that I have a reliable set of leaders (Zarah, Candy, Brznf, Lawrence, Zarah Grace, Richard) that shares the passion and responsibilities in ministering to the youth. They make my tasks easier and manage with the different responsbilities going on with me.

I don't like it right now that I'm such a busy person. Last few weeks have been a wakener for me when all ministry roles demanded so much from me, particularly from Book of Hope and Chi-Alpha. I mean I love them all but I can't be at two places. These are the times when you just want to duplicate myself or something (but that won't be good either). But man, I have to refocus. In fact, now that I think of it, it would be better if I focus all my energies to a few things. Including relationships. People say I've been focusing too much on ministry that's why I'm missing out on relationships. Which I think is true.

Sunday, I spoke today on Isaiah 40:27-31. It was a timely message for all of us. I have to wait on the Lord. There's something remarkable about speaking to yourself as you speak to people. I crammed a bit about getting the message out and without Him it would be a disaster. It was all Him who touched the hearts of the people, gave me enough strength to proclaim His Word with confidence and conviction. Today I just spoke about how great our God is.. that's what we ought to hear for so long. I feel we've been teaching people to fix their own problems, much like a self-help book, when all we need to do is to speak of our God, His love, His mercy, His power, His greatness, His holiness and it would move hearts of people longing for an intimate fellowship with Him. I'm grateful for my Worship and Music professor Roce Anog for teaching me that.

It's not about us. It's all about Him.

Please include me in your prayers:

• Financial support for 2nd semester
• Physical, emotional and mental strength and protection against enemy attacks
  
• BFGFC youth ministry, discipleship and campus ministry
• Relationships
  

Finally, I'm done with my major paper. I'm still thinking if I'm still gonna submit the minor ones. But nevertheless a big weigh is already lifted off my shoulders. Finally gotta relax even for a while, cause I have to still do some projects for APCC. Yesterday, I got some major electronic nagging from my boss. It's totally my fault though. This sem, I spread myself too thin because of all the responsibilities I got. I'm caught between APCC and campus ministry. I am really torn, both demanding full attention. I'm back in this phase of choosing again. I promised myself that I would eventually focus on one by next year as I transition and test the waters. Please pray for me.

Today I finally got the hang of writing my term paper for a subject at school. And when it hits you the thoughts and ideas just flow. In half a day I was able to write 6 of minimum 10 pages required. But loooking at my scope I'm afraid still at 70% of my paper. It's my mom's birthday today, I couldn't believe I almost forgot this morning, my brother had to remind me, I think he just remembered when he came back for lunch. At 4PM, even though I don't want to leave the computer because I was so into the paper, I drove to school to submit my papers for another subject. I submitted the paper, then left. Dropped by Red Ribbon in Pasong Tamo to buy a cake for mom. Man, the people there are so disorganized. The queues getting long until our silent suffering was broken by a very angry manly lesbian customer demanding to speed up her order. They were like cockroaches startled then began scuttling around for cover...

I'm so edgy right now with what's happening with work. I love my boss and my job. It's just my boss sends like tons of e-mail like it's hard to sort out which one they want me to do. And they want me to acknowledge everything they said. For example, one e-mail's like 10 paragraphs long just for 3 brief instructions.. grr. Why do women talk so much? It's crowding my head right now. Just give it to me in brief, straight and in bullet points. Is that too much to ask?

I realized I haven't blogged for a while. Last week had been busy because of school. School days are over, but there are still requirements to be done. I have finished some papers but as if it never runs out.

Even in the midst of paper cramming, I still manage to see a drama prepared by Manila Faith youth in their 31st anniversary this evening. The play is entitled "Bubungang Lata" by a renowned Filipino playwright which I already forgot the name. The concept is great. A central stage and the audience surrounds the stage. The setting is a make-shift skeleton of a shanty house so viewers couuld see the drama inside. That was really a great concept. Definitely a good resource back-up in the future. The actors are as always, coming from Manila Faith youth, versatile and great. I've always admired MFAG drama productions for their systematic and detailed productions. I stayed later in Kuya Jess' parsonage for coffee and cake and went home really late. But it was a refreshing time of encouragement and sharing. I needed that. They're having a sembreak camp in a few weeks in Pundaquit, Zambales. I hope I could join them. It would be great to hit the beach.

Today I led worship. Worked on my papers after I led second service. Lunched with family at Tokyo Tokyo. As always scoured every floor of the mall waiting for parents done doing grocery.

Library. Done my last finals exam for this sem. But not yet off cramming for papers. At the moment I'm working on my projects. Some of it already lagging behind. Have a meeting with a client this afternoon.

Waiting for this huge load of a file to be uploaded to be sent to Japan where my boss is currently in a hotel and will be leaving tomorrow morning. I'm very sleepy now, not to mention I have a 9AM class tomorrow - finals. Last finals exam. Yey. But can't escape the papers though. This evening was my exam in Hebrew. Man, that exam was excruciating. Though I got through it, I just missed some word forms. Anyway, the file has finally uploaded. Off to bed!

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for...

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them...

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they (better things) be made perfect.

Hebrews 11

Playing from the sides as the people worship I thought, there is still hope. It's not so bad after all, meaning there's still a silver lining on every cloud right. It's just one of those things being in the moment when you think it sucks. This morning was an overwhelming presence of God. I am grateful for His amazing grace - AMAZING indeed. Recovering from burn-out is one of the greatest waterfalls of life. "Finishing Strong" has really helped me get back on track. A fellowship restored, an intimate bond revived. I am praying for His will for me right now, pray also for me that He may reveal it to me soon. For now I just want to bask in His presence.

Cool Change

by Little River Band

If there's one thing in my life that's missing | It's the time I spend alone | Sailing on the cool and bright clear waters

There's lots of those friendly people | Showin me ways to go | And I never want to lose your inspiration

[+] Time for a cool change | I know that it's time for a cool change | Now that my life is so pre-arranged | I know that it's time for a cool change

Well I was born in the sign of water | And it's there that I feel my best | The albatross and the whales they are my brothers

It's kind of a special feeling | When you're out on the sea alone | Starin' at the full moon like a lover

Well I've never been romantic | And sometimes I don't care | I know it may sound selfish | But let me breathe the air

A make-shift studio at church. These are people who keep me pursuing the cause for which Christ has died for. Go Firebrands!

I felt discouraged last night about our band practice. For the nth time there was again conflict between our band members and the sound tech (even if I already preached on conflict management last time!) I felt there was injustice. It left a band member hopelessly crying. I came to church prepared and light-hearted, I was the prayer meeting leader. And all members even were part of the prayer meeting, then for a short-span of time, they just placed everything on the garbage. What an insult to the Spirit of God. Shame. It's like we're living on the flesh and ignoring the spiritual essenses of being a body of Christ. I left with a headache. Good thing the pastor's wife was there to soften the tension. But she too was very concerned.

There seems no hope for our church. Only Christ's love and presence will change all this. It was like the Spirit was lifted off our church. Everything's a routine, mediocrity, and going about the motions. Going home I thought, what's the use of a church who doesn't produce souls for already such a long time? We are just spending money, time, energy maintaining people so that they won't leave the church. What's the use of a church who doesn't fulfill it's three-fold Commission? Really. These are the times that I would just want out. Too bad the reason why I'm so affected because I love this church so much.

Today I had to refuse my speaking engagement in another youth group next week. It was a hard call. But I need to attend to our youth. For sometime now we have inconsistent meetings due to outside activities and the storm.

Lord, I'm getting losing hope. Change our hearts and let us be searing-hot passionate for you.

Cease striving and know that I am God.

Please pray with me as there are opportunities for me to go out Singapore for the Carecell Conference in Trinity Christian Church and Indonesia for the Asia Pacific Youth Conference. For the future.

Idasal Mo

by Pinikpikan

Walang hanggan ang lakbay ng diwa
'Wag mo na lang piliting alamin pa
Tama na ang nakaapak sa lupa
Isipan mo naman ang syang gagala

May gagawin pa tayo sa mundo
Pagmamahal ang sasagip sayo
At kung sapat na ang pag-ibig
Ang mundo'y lilipad kasama tayo

At makiramdam sa paglalakbay, ingat lang
Sakaling ikaw ay maligaw ay banggitin mo Siya

Idasal mo idasal
Buhayin ang pagmamahal
Idasal mo idasal
Buhayin ang pagmamahal

I've been reading this fabulous book by Steve Farrar entitled "Finishing Strong." Finishing Strong is an easy read. Farrar is like a father instructing his son about life. Incidentally "finishing strong" is such a big word in our church community life. Finishing strong meant to finish this life victoriously, not missing the target. It doesn't matter how you start the race.. as long as you finish STRONG. I've realized that I am far from being exempted from falling away. It lingers around like a predator waiting for his prey's sign of weakness. My prayer for sometime is "Lord, please, let me finish strong. I want to finish strong."

I wrote in a pad last week...

"I'm sitting at a restaurant bar looking across a pool of tables. People eating, coversing. Some eating by themselves. As I observe I ask myself, "What could be going on her mind? Is she aware of her aloneness? Is she happy, contented?"

Why do people travel great lengths just be alone? Could it be pursuit of peace? Could it be that in doing so she would finally find her center, her being? Away from the prying eyes and hallow conversations. Perhaps life for her is just passing, where at one time you are here but tomorrow you go and hardly anyone notices?

Indeed life would be much bearable with someone to journey with.