Youth Core @ Starbucks Tiendesitas

Zechariah 2:5, "For I ... will be a wall of fire around [you], and I will be the glory in [your] midst."

Christmas is a time of celebration. And it's also a time to meet the relatives. And sometimes it's intimidating to catch up with what's happening with each other's lives. And there's that feeling again of self-belittlement resurfacing. Not that I measure myself by the standard of others. It's just at the back of my heart I've realized that I want to make my parents proud of their children. I want to ask them if they are proud of me. And I'm not sure if I'm doing a great job at it. Yeah, God's Word is the only one that matters. But they are my parents and I just want them to be happy. These are times when you have no place to run and hide but to God. He said I am "the apple of His eye" (Zechariah 2:8) and those who even try to touch the apple of His eye will really get whacked. Lord, I am nothing and You alone are the glory in my life. Forgive me that I had this feeling that belittles Your power and being. Thank you the Word that sustains me. I may have nothing to boast about by the world's standard but in You I know that You are my inheritance and portion.

Hopia Mani Popcorn

Got myself a little gift. "Hopia Mani Popcorn" features the best of Manila Sound of the 70's with the likes of Hotdog, VST, Cinderella et al rendered by today's band scene. I'm proud that God has blessed the Filipinos with a rich musical heritage and distinct genres such as the Manila Sound and Pinoy Rock both stemming from the decade of the 70s. 2006 is the ressurection of the bands with the likes of Sandwich, Urban Dub, Kamikaze, Orange and Lemons and others similar that of the rise of the bands of the 90s during my highschool days.

I wish in the near future Pinoy Christian youth bands would make it into the scene (I know there are already lots brewing) with the likes of Hillsong United, Planet Shakers and Vineyard. We need our own identity in expressing our worship to God.

It's few hours before Christmas. This year's Christmas is great. More lights, more songs, more Christmas atmosphere. Christmas week is great also. If there are words to describe my Christmas week, "food" would be one of those on the top list:

Friday. Christmas party at church. Potluck party, everyone brought food and there was more that what we could ever eat! Got chocolates from the exchange gift. Mmm... chocolates.

Saturday. Christmas party at the youth. We do this thing once in a while called "Food Trip" it's like make your own food with the ingredients brought by each person. This time we did two: Taco Salad & Banana Split. We were worried that the food won't go a long way but it did. We had fun games, games you do every Christmas party but you never grow tired of playing it. Trip to Jerusalem & Paper Dance - every youth participated all the games, so it was really wacky and fun. Plus I had a very special... ahem... guest. For the exchange gift I got a towel. Plus small but well-appreciated gifts from some of the youth.

Sunday. Christmas service had lots of people. After service the pastors and board went to visit our church planting project and on our way we had to stop by lunch. We had a 5 set meal at Hap Chan in Roosevelt. On the church site, we we're served with snack in one of our member's house... spaghetti and ginataan - talk about heavy snack. And the difference between lunch and snack was like one and a half hour.

After that we stopped by the mall supermarket to have some last minute groceries for Noche Buena tonight. Man, I'm getting really fat.

Because of Christ-mas...

Spoke this year's Christmas message (first time!) this morning: "Because of Christ-mas..."

"... and you shall call His Name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins" (Matthew 1:21). Because of Christmas...

• Our FELLOWSHIP (with God) is restored. Therefore we should respond in WORSHIP.
  
• Our FUTURE is secure. Therefore we should respond with CONTENTMENT.
• God's FAVOR is ours. Therefore we should respond with GENEROSITY.
• Our FREEDOM is reclaimed. Therefore we should respond with HOLINESS.

We Want the World to Know

Firebrands Tropa

Recent Youth Photos

Brznf's birthday celebration after service at the Estero.



December 17, 2006


Hillsong United concert - November 21, 2006

More photos here... 

I'm here in an internet cafe in UP Los Banos. The Chi-alpha group here in UPLB has just had their 1st Anniversary celebration in one of the restos here along the strip in UPLB. It's such a blessing to see how Chi-Alpha here in UPLB has grown. I feel so full after the dinner and coffee.

So much has happened in the past few days I wasn't able to blog. Past few days I've been in and out of Divisoria shopping for gifts and buying stuff for our Christmas Concert. It was an adventure, and I realized I could endure such crowds. At one time, I got my slippers stepped on and snapped so I had to return to church (it's just few blocks away) minus one good slipper.

Traffic in Binondo has been hellish eversince the Christmas season came. Binondo is where 168 Mall, Divisoria Mall and tiangges are located so as early as the sun comes up people already flock to Divisoria to snag the lowest item on sale.

Last Saturday we had our Christmas Concert. Though at everyone's observation was the last concert (August) had more people than this one, it's not really about how big the crowd was. It was a new set of people though. And though I'd admit we've crammed for this. It went very well. Not to mention the Christmas rush in Binondo area which delayed the start of our concert by 45 minutes. But it was all good. I am really encouraged by how the young people handled the event, each one did his part. The night before I was really encouraged when I listened to the radio on the way home. Jam (88.3) was having a concert featuring Gary V. His songs and testimonies really uplifted my spirit. I was really encouraged when he talked about their preparation for that concert. That when the time of performance came, all you really have to do is to savor "the fruit of your labor" because you really have nothing more to do but to enjoy the moment.

Anyway, we're leaving at 4AM later. I'm still thinking if I'm gonna get some sleep. Later.

Chi-Alpha Manila Christmas Party last Saturday.


Christmas party last Tuesday with Young Adults staff last convergence. (Superbowl of China, Blue Wave in Macapagal, Bay Walk in CCP)


Binondo Church ... beautiful as always ...


Christmas party in Hebrew Class ... the game "Hebrew Genio" was classic.

Had a good rest today. No schedule to wake me up. Yesterday the youth left church at 8:30PM because of the rehearsal we're having for next Saturday's Christmas evangelistic concert. Exhausting but worthwhile. We're having songs, drama, videos, hand mime etc. Praying that many will come and many will come and receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior. 

Thought I'd share it with you...

Ramon Bautista in Game Plan. More videos here.

Evaluating the eight spokes of my life (Warning: it's an endless post)

Morning. I'm supposed to have a video coverage today with my pastor in our church planting site in Valenzuela. After taking a bath and a shave, he called to say our meeting would be cancelled because he isn't feeling well. Oh well, it's cool. I have the morning to blog and re-evaluate.

The year's almost coming to an end. I'd say every year is a season of pruning, learning, building relationships, molding and discovering. I have matured and continuing to do so. I am blessed with opportunities to make an impact in several ways. I believe this year's a time of preparation and refinement of my call, all in God's sovereign purpose of which I am or may not be aware of. I have become a multi-tasker, which at first I like doing, but now gets the toll on my health, though not in a serious way, but if I wouldn't take care of myself it would be heading there.

I would like to evaluate myself based on the 8 spokes of life (I learned this from Dr. Chuck Quinley when I was in his Personal Life Management class, so good): Spiritual, family, health, social, ministry, career, financial and personal.

Spiritual life. My personal relationship with the Lord. There are times its on a high, there are times its on a low - mostly because of my doing. I am not yet perfect, but I thank Him that He continues to reveal who He is to me. Truly when you get to know Him more, the more you have reasons to love Him. He is a loving Father. I wouldn't forget what Ptr. Tom said during the young adults convergence back in October, that I cannot pretend before God. This helps me to come before Him not pretending to be OK when I'm not and to freely worship Him with more "undignity" because He deserves it. I am not content with my relationship with Him, though I'm thankful with what I have now. I want it to be stronger, me more broken and sensitive to His will.

Family. My family is doing OK. I have loving parents and a great brother. The issue with work doesn't resurface often anymore. I try to help the best I could. I love them, and sometimes it hits me when the time would come that they or I won't be around. Honestly it gives me an adult fear. I just wish that my parents would spend and love "life" with us together. If got the chance I would like to take them to the beach or picnic or something. Enjoy something together as a family. Isn't that the father's initiative?

Health. I have no continuous source of exercice except for walking and walking and walking. I thank God that I have not suffer any serious illness because of too much work. But there are times when sleep is less, I just want a good and complete sleep. I take vitamins to cope up with loss of natural source of healthy lifestyle (food, exercise, sleep), whom some say is already a point of concern because of that mindset. I do Badminton once in a while and I would like to make it more routinal. I do eat a lot, because I love eating and it's obvious that I've gained weight specially on the tummy. I would like to hit the gym again, which is only inches away (I have a benchpress at home which is collecting cobwebs). But it's not so bad. With my tasks God continues to give grace so that my body won't break down. And I believe that when it's God's work you're doing He has your health insurace covered, just don't push it.

Social. I am blessed with friends in the ministry especially those whom I could share life, struggles and dreams with without trying to be a hero. They are hidden springs who I can retreat to and just remind myself that I'm just a human who need friends. I appreciate ministry relationships with colleagues and the younger leaders whom I am fond of. Even my relationship with our youth core I appreciate, truly we are growing together and maturing, some of the fruits we are enjoying as I write. I am glad that my past relationships is continuing to heal and has covered much ground. I've learned a lot. I am amazed at how God needed to whack me more than once to get His point across. Now I got it. Today I'm going out with and getting to know someone whom I so fond of spending time with. And now I have placed God in the center of that relationship. In due time I will talk about her more here.

Ministry. What else could I say about this. I'm humbled that God would open opportunities to serve Him as a youth pastor, a sectional youth coordinator, a campus worker and a ministry product developer.. and some more that could use some help in between. Though it's pushing itself into my other spokes, which is a point of concern. It's not more an issue of health, toil is nothing when you love doing what you're doing, but of relationships that are endangered to be neglected and taken for granted. I've specially committed myself to work on my relationships especially my love life on a competitive priority, because in order a desired goal to really happen one should give time and effort right? Ministry-wise I am content with what He has given me and I just want to cultivate and let them grow.

Career. Being a designer lately has been a source of stress for me. With the demands of ministry I still have to push them into the schedule. But what's one gotta do in order to provide for his family? I love expressing art and executing creativity, but pulling in the next payment for the bills gets the greater purpose of work today. It's a thing to be done. School on average demands time and energy, it's a non-negotiable. My season in the bible school I realized is a time of refining and unveiling of His long-term purpose for my ministry. I am glad that I have this season to really pray and discern what He wants me to do when I get out.

Financial. The bottom line - I'm still alive. I thank Him that He meets both ends. There are times of abundance and lack, but just like Paul say, I learn to be content with the current season. Learning to trust Him for my needs and my family's. Though I need to trim down on excesses because I'm a self-confessed extravagant sometimes even impulsive spender.

Personal. Am I happy with my life? Yes? Though sometimes my face doesn't show it, mukha lang talaga akong bato. But I'm happy with what He is doing in my life. I don't know where I'd be if I never knew Him. I learned to not to copy other people because I am my unique self, with my own ways to express care and love for others. I tend not to listen to other people's judgments anymore because my real friends know me. I'm not rude, just introvert, I was chatting with Chad of Cebu about this one time because I learned that we have almost the same personality and personality struggles. I learned I'm not really suplado, just shy. And the real solution is not to change from being suplado to "hi-hello" friendliness which could sometimes be hyporcitical, but to change from being shy to being confident in the Lord, now that's biblical (1Ti 1:7).

Congratulations if you finished reading this post. It's a bit long. It's more for me, progressive evaluation and discovery of myself. I constantly need your prayers, I sincerely believe they work wonders in my life.

I just came back from our district (Southern Tagalog District Council) convention held in Caliraya, Laguna where I was initiated into the district and sectional elections. I came in noon at the second day of the convention (I had to miss the first day for my class.) Here are some highlights of my trip.

• Preparing to go there I learned that Caliraya Lake is a man-made lake made by Americans.
  
• Took a bus trip from Manila to Sta. Cruz, Laguna, jeepney from Sta. Cruz to Lumban and enjoyed the scenic road of Pagsanjan with its old stone arches entering the town, old hispanic houses with its prominent staircases leading up to their salas, and Pagsanjan church. I enjoyed it, though I've seen them before. From Lumban drop off I had to take another jeep up to Caliraya but because the jeepneys were always full I had no choice but to hang onto the jeepney until my muscles explode because of strain.
  
• Spending time with colleagues and people in the ministry, some whom I grew up with in the ministry, and just share not so much with each other's ministerial duties but with life, personal struggles and dreams.
  
• Participating in election. I don't like the feeling. But things like this had to be done.
  
• The food of Caliraya is still good.
  
• Seeing a full-sized rainbow over the hilltop. I've haven't seen one in a long time. It made me happy.
  
• Hitching a ride with Ptr. Wai-man and Sis. Josie back to Manila and just listen, share and learn from them.

Me and my little friend

I've just uploaded the pictures from my Bohol trip. I'm back in rush mode again. Here are some highlights of my trip:

• Diving in Balicasag after my last dive 2 years ago in Anilao
• Seeing sea turtles for the first time
• Swimming against a school of barracudas (the one who killed Nemo's mom)
  
• Vomiting my lunch after a sleep-deprived dive on the first day
• Resting and sleeping without access to computer, internet... reading a good book facing a great view
• Switching flights 3 times due to my work's Christmas party and typhoon Reming
• Seeing the Chocolate Hills
• Seeing, touching and getting a photo op with the tarsiers
• Checking out the hispanic churches of Baclayon, Loboc and Albuquerque
• Seafood!

I'm definitely hoping I'll be back in Bohol.

Today in the car I heard a song in NU Rock which was the theme song of the TV-series Panday of Jericho Rosales that aired few months/years back. The series kinda flopped but the theme song is good. I don't know who sang it. It's one of those new bands. I begin to reflect on the song which could be a heart-song of God for us:

Ipaglalaban ko ang ating pag-ibig
Maghintay ka lamang, ako'y darating
'Pagkat sa isang taong mahal mo ng buong puso lahat ay gagawin
Makita kang muli

Just came back from Bohol! It was a great experience. Can't wait to share to you the pix. At the moment my stuff are still with Criz because last night immediately after arriving I headed straight for Book of Hope Christmas party. Later! :)

We just concluded our semi-annual Youth All-out Praise and Worship of section 2 youth department. It was a blast! There were many youths who attended and it was just as good as the last time. Indeed God moved in the place. Lord, this is for you, that was my song for Him as we close this year in the Section 2 Youth. I am very thankful for his goodness and faithfulness in my life. "Goodness" and "faithfulness" cannot even justify his gracious work in my life. He far did better in its purer sense. Sometimes you keep asking God, "why me?"

Coming from the event, I was a little discouraged with what was going on with our youth lately. Well, I guess some of it is just out of impulse of emotion. But that noon I physically felt a pain of sorrow in my chest because some people are not enthusiastic about getting together. It was really sad. All I could do was pray. I wish I could have someone listen AND understand what I feel but I guess that's part of the call I've embraced. I could imagine and feel what a pastor feels when he feels he doesn't get 100% support.

But indeed in exchange of sorrow and mourning our God has given me joy when I see young people get on fire for God. My only prayer is that from these breed would rise catalysts and change agents of our time. Our speaker Ptr. Sur mentioned about an article in a journal about the current psyche of our youth, that they are people who dwell in tribes, they live in a "cut and paste" lifestyle - meaning whatever seems fit (good or bad) for me, I will take it. Young people live in social tribes where in they share common ideologies and uphold one another's perspectives and would "die" defending one, good or bad. If indeed they are tribes, may they be tribes who would just die for Jesus, who in unity would invade unchartered territories and make it God's. I pray that God would raise up warriors who are willing to lavishly pour out his life for Him, those who would forcefully advance the kingdom of God further and increase it's borders.

Thank you Lord that I'm living in Your-story.

Your faithful love has always been there for me
The greatest love that I've ever known
What can I give to You for all You've given to me?
You gave it all and You are all I need

You are my King, You are my God
The praises I bring, they come from my heart

This is for You for all You've done for me
And I wanted to show You how much You mean my God
My God

This is a little video I made for our Missions Convention. This is about our church-planting project in Valenzuela. I hope you saw Kill Bill vol. 1. :)

When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:

"Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!"
"Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!"

Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, "Teacher, rebuke your disciples!"

"I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out."

As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, "If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you." (Luke 19:37-44)

I remembered this passage during our practice last night for the APAW this coming Sunday. It doesn't matter how skilled we do our thing, for this is not what the Lord really looks at. He looks at the heart. Never restrain yourself from giving glory to God because you are "just youth" indeed as Jesus said, if we stop, "stones will cry out." We have to recognize God's heart and let our hearts align with His. For when this happens, greater things happen. "Recognize the time of God's coming to you."

Today I am really amazed at the prophet Jeremiah as I read Lamentations how despite his depression and utter sadness in the first 2 chapters he still manages to keep straight and without blemish his perspective on God:

I am the man who has seen affliction
Because of the rod of His wrath.

Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness.
Surely my soul remembers
And is bowed down within me.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.

The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.

"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"Therefore I have hope in Him."
The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the LORD. (Lamentations 3)

Lord, uncloud my eyes that I may watch your faithfulness prove itself pure in the midst of testing. You are my inheritance and I will ask no more. I know you are faithful to save those whose hope is in you.

Journal in a nutshell. These days have been crazy but fun..

Saturday. Was speaker during youth service in Word of Hope. The worship was a blast. Thank God I wasn't too nervous. At the end of the message, Ptr. Marvin challenge the youth and lots of them responded.

Monday. Work has been really stressful lately due to lots of demand. I'm finishing up a project until this coming Monday because I'm off to Bohol on Tuesday.


(Firebrands in Hillsong United Concert)

Tuesday. Hillsong United Concert. It was also a blast. Whole lot of jammin and jumping. Daniel the Korean from Work in Progress joined us. He slept in our place.


(San Agustin Church & Manila Cathedral)

Today. Went to Manila City Hall to work out recommendations for approval of Chi-Alpha as a student organization in Universidad de Manila (please continue to pray for its approval). Getting hold of the city councilor was so close until he was summoned by the mayor. His wife entertained us. Finished around 1PM. During waiting time before lunch, Daniel & I went sight-seeing in Intramuros. I took him to Casa Manila, San Agustin Church and Manila Cathedral. It was lots of walking and taking pictures. Went back to City Hall and had lunch in SM Manila. Done by 2PM, I was supposed to have class in Alabang today but i figured trying to catch up would be ineffecient since travel could take 1 or 1.5 hours. Had a haircut in the mall while Daniel and Chi-Alpha workers rested. After that Daniel and I went to Mall of Asia to check-out IMAX theater. To our disappointment we found out that there were no 3D movies showing. So we watched Casino Royale instead and it's good. We met Richard and Lawrence there. After the movie we took Daniel to the bus station back to Baguio. Said goodbyes and best wishes.


(Sunset overlooking Mall of Asia)

Tomorrow, it's BOH day again and I'll be working overtime so to finish the project. Pray me strength to sustain me during the night.

The Teacher's Challenge

John Ortberg's challenge was about the value of teaching (or preaching) as a spiritual gift in our church, and challenged us to commit on the following:

1. I will seek to make sure my church is taught by people with the spiritual gift of teaching. (Eph 4:11-12)
How to know if a person has a gift of teaching:
- Studies the Word recreationally
- Has the ability to automatically connect learning and communication
- Discerns the spiritual temperature of the congregation and knows how to address it
- People have a deep conviction that the Word has changed their lives
- Frequent feedback on the impact of your teaching from other people

2. I will lead a surrendered life. I will make being a fully-devoted follower a higher priority than being a successful pastor. (1Co 9:27)

3. I will pay whatever price is required to fan my gift to flame. (2Ti 1:6)
Learn to evaluate your own teaching. Listen to yourself preach.

4. I will teach with integrity and authenticity (James 3:1-2)
Learn to disclose your own humanity but sharing only what needs to be heard.

5. I will help develop the next generation of teachers (1Ti 2:2)

6. I will measure my teaching by how Christ is seen in the lives of the listeners. (Col 1:28-29)

Today was my class in Lighthouse. I slept at Caloocan to try how long it would take to travel from Caloocan to Alabang. Woke up 6AM, left 7AM, took LRT to EDSA Station and took a collorum van to SM South Mall, then finally took a jeep to Lighthouse. I was 30 minutes early! During class my mind was half awake and half asleep, when my mind was literally seeing things and situations that were not really there. I was going into a dream. It wasn't that the class was boring. Last night I came home at midnight from an impromptu visit to Star City with some youth leaders in our section. Earlier that night we had a meeting for our upcoming Youth All-out Praise and Worship on the 26th.

So all throughout the class I was half asleep. Even a double-shot Starbucks White Mocha had little effect. Last portion of class was a video preaching from John Ortberg from Willow Creek that put off my sleepiness until we were dismissed.

It is a very productive day today and I feel good. Even though I'm just here in school, I feel I've done alot today. This morning woke up at 7AM, lounged and relax until 8AM, prepared and left to drive Lawrence to UE Caloocan before I go to my 9AM class. I came around 9:30AM. It was my NT Theo class, I'm surprised we are only 6 in the class. Our professor is good. For the next two hours it was a very interesting class, yet there were times when I feel my head will explode in analyzing assumptions and bringing reason and meaning together with all those theological arguments. Had an early lunch with Emmanuel at KFC, it was nice that we are classmates again, and for the last time. He's graduating this semester and he's coming back to India. I'm here at library now doing stuff. It's great. I'm done with all my things-to-do today.

Woke up today at 7AM. Today is BOH day. Lounged until 8AM. Prepared and left 8:45AM. Amazingly I came by the office 9:15AM, 15 minutes late, from Kalookan to Katipunan in 30 minutes. Stayed at the office the whole day until 7PM. My boss is back and my work is rush. It's nice to be with the BOH team again. Kuya Ty gave out chocolate-covered dried blueberries. Left 7PM...

Got 4 more Starbucks stickers from a friend - thanks Tonette! Plus 2 more. Unfortunately the barista won't transfer her stickers to me. I'll try another branch. 1o (or 6) more stickers to go...

These next two weeks will be swamped with schedules. 2nd semester has come and I'm still swamped with lots of work. Can't wait for my Bohol trip! Yes, you heard right. I'm gonna go to Bohol. Bohol is my most wanted destination and finally it's gonna come true. My dive buddies and I are going to dive there, and if lucky, perhaps a night dive in Balicasag Island.

Our youth bulletin board for some time now has become a living organism of relationships, culture and church life...


Victory is within my grasp... 12 stickers na lang...

"So this is the answer to all the riddles: here in the wild I have you, two halflings and a host of men at my call, and the Ring of Power within my grasp." - Faramir, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Definitely to watch out for... but isn't that too CG?

This ought to get us into the Christmas spirit.

New Chikka commercial. Hands down again to Ramon Bautista... so funny. There's another one of this.

Total Wreck

New music video from Radioactive Sago Project featuring Ramon Bautista and Strangebrew's Angel Rivera and Tado directed by RA Rivera. The video pays tribute to Lino Brocka's Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang of the 70s. I still not into the song, but love the video.

A little fatigued right now. I already slept too early this morning because of a work project. Today I went to UP to print our APAW posters, drop by the office to get materials for my discipleship group, lounged at Starbucks Katipunan in front of Ateneo to pass time before I went to school for my Hebrew class. First time I experienced headache with coffee, it hurts til now. Throughout the one and a half hour class my eyes were already dropping. After class, went to Binondo to meet up with one of my youth for dinner and coffee (again). It's not obvious that I'm trying to collect the stickers in the Starbucks coupon to get that cool leather bound planner. It was a productive day though and I thank God for that. I need to sleep now.

I'm also preaching on Sunday. Please do pray for me :)

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

by Andy Williams, in 3/4 jazz waltz (listen)

It's the most wonderful time of the year | With the kids jingle belling | And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer" | It's the most wonderful time of the year

It's the hap-happiest season of all | With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings | When friends come to call | It's the happiest season of all

There'll be parties for hosting | Marshmallows for toasting | And caroling out in the snow | There'll be scary ghost stories | And tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago

It's the most wonderful time of the year | There'll be much mistltoeing | And hearts will be glowing | When love ones are near | It's the most wonderful time of the year

+++

I'm feeling senti-Christmas mood right now. I'm thinking of doing a compilation of classic Christmas songs...

• It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Andy Williams
• It's Christmas All Over the World - Sheena Easton
• Merry Christmas Darling - Karen Carpenter
• Have Yourself A Merry Christmas - Karen Carpenter
• The Christmas Song (Chestnuts roasting...) - Karen Carpenter
• Christmas in Our Hearts (The whole album) by Jose Mari Chan
• Christmas album of Ryan Cayabyab

Any suggestions?

First day of class and I wasn't able to wake up on time. Gr. I wasn't able to advise my folks to wake me up. But later I'm going to Makati to pick up some bread (yum!) and off to Marikina River Banks... magpapakain si Kuya Sur! Hehe.. Then gonna sleep at Ate Dayang's place in Las Pinas for my morning class in Lighthouse in Alabang... Looks like it's gonna be an adventurous week.

Listening to:



A Charlie Brown Christmas by Vince Guaraldi Trio

1. O Tannenbaum
2. What Child Is This
3. My Little Drum
4. Linus And Lucy
5. Christmas Time Is Here ( Instrumental)
6. Christmas Time Is Here (Vocal)
7. Skating
8. Hark The Herald Angel Sings
9. Christmas Is Coming
10. Fur Elise
11. The Christmas Song
12. Greensleeves

New Season

by Martha Munizzi

[+] It’s a new season, it’s a new day | A fresh anointing is flowing my way | It’s a season of power and prosperity | It’s a new season coming to me

The devil’s time is up, no longer can he bother me | ‘Cause the Controller of the universe, He fathers me | And it’s transferable; your children’s children will be free | It’s a new season!
If you don’t know, but now you need to know it’s Jubilee | My debts are cancelled and your children walk in victory | It’s all available to you right now just taste and see | It’s a new season!

The new millennium presents a new horizon and | No greater time for us to make a choice and take us and | All that we need is resting safely in the Master’s hand | It’s a new season!
All that was stolen is returned to you a hundredfold | Tried in the fire but you’re coming out, go! | Cling to His hand, “yes” to every promise take a hold | It’s a new season!

I'm currently reading this book I found while I'm in APTS called The Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. I have already seen it before at the ASCM library when a friend pointed it out to me and had made such impression that I knew I would read it soon. When I saw it in APTS bookstore it was the last one and as I flip through the pages an excerpt on simplicity immediately caught my eye. Indeed, how does one celebrate discipline? It seems those two words are contradictory. I believe I will soon discover. Reading through the pages, there are great insights from this seasoned disciple.

Foster gives a fresh perspective on working in and out our righteousness (salvation for Rick Warren). He calls it objective and subjective righteousness. Latter being righteousness achieved by discipline and the former achieved by grace alone. The two are inseparable. Even the new testament had little distinction between the two because it was already understood that they come in one package. I liked how he explained that achieving righteousness is like growing a plant.. God alone can make it grow (grace) but it's the job of the farmer to cultivate it, water it and create the condition for its growth (discipline).

Going back to the YA event. There had been tons of memorable insights from all the sessions of the event. We had this speaker who went in as a sub for an absent speaker but Tom Bohnert's message perhaps penetrated deepest to the heart of the people. He talked about the love of God. I'm struck at how one could make an organized thesis from what seemed a basic, even diluted, topic. His insight on the healing of the leprous man by Jesus captured how we often judge ourselves so strictly and we would ask God "if" He want to make us clean when in fact He is delighted and readily willing to do it for us, because He loves us. He loves us because He is our Father. Sometimes we project our impression of Him through our perception of our earthly fathers and other people, but hearing that as a Father, God loves still love us even if we get into mess. Now this should not be grounds for abusing His love. Paul talks about how Freedom should make us love Him even more. Foster talks about sin that it is something that cannot be scored, that sinfulness is a state of being. Therefore God doesn't keep score of our sins when in fact our whole being is sin, until Jesus made Himself as sin in our place. I believe in order to worship God, one must know and discover His being first. Even though it wouldn't be possible to fully unfold His glorious Being, understanding and experiencing His Fatherly love alone satisfies that "God-shaped" hole in our being.

I just came back last night from Baguio for the young adults convergence of the national youth of Philippine Assemblies of God called "Work in Progress". I'm still in the process of dislodging my adrenaline rush and I couldn't stop making kuyakoy. Part of the rush is because I was part of the organizing team whom I am very privileged to be working with. Nevertheless I learned so much from our sessions and talking with some people (Though most people would think I never spoken a word!) The event helped my to reevaluate my walk as a follower and leader.

I'm here at Baguio in Asia Pacific Theological Seminary for a young adults retreat. The area has been almost zero visibility because of the fog, except for this morning when finally the sun showed up. This I think is my first time to come up here during the "-ber" months and indeed this is the coldest Baguio I've experienced. The sessions are great that gears toward young adults in the workplace.

I enrolled this afternoon for second semester. I'm taking Hebrew 2, New Testament Theology and Pastoral Theology. I'm excited about Pastoral Theology subject. It will be taught by Ptr. Albert Clavo, senior pastor of Lighthouse Christian Community in Alabang. Downside is the class is from 9AM-4PM and will be held in LCC in Alabang, Muntinlupa. I have no idea, how to go there and how far it is, but I'm really excited to learn from Ptr. Clavo. I'm thinking I have to find a place to stay near Alabang Tuesday evenings because since the car is color-coded, it would be very difficult to commute from Caloocan to Muntinlupa, literally from north to south of Manila. After enrollment Erene, Mutya and I went to see a movie "Open Season" and had dinner.

Next week I'm off to APTS in Baguio for a young adults convergence. Then end of November I'm going to BOHOL!!! Finally. I'm going to dive with my dive buddies in Balicasag Island. This would be my second time to dive.

Joey Velasco's Hapag

I stumbled again upon this magnificent painting entitled Hapag by Joey Velasco at Clickthecity.com. First time I saw this was in a brochure at an art gallery in Megamall. Very moving piece.

We Will Wait

by Ron Kenoly

We will run and not grow weary | We will walk and will not faint | For the Lord will go before us | And His joy will be our strength | Mounting up with wings as eagles | As our spirits start to soar | When we come into His presence | And we wait upon the Lord

We will wait upon the Lord | For in His presence is fullness of joy | And our strength will be restored | As we wait upon the Lord

Nothing without You

by Bebo Norman

Take these hands and lift them up | For I have not the strength to praise You near enough | For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

Take my voice and pour it out | Let it sing the songs of mercy I have found | For I have nothing | I have nothing without You

[+] All my soul needs is all Your love to cover me | So all the world will see that I have nothing without You

Take my body and build it up | May it be broken as an offering of love | For I have nothing | I have nothing without You

With all my heart | With all my soul | With all my mind | With all the strength that I can find

Take my time here on this earth and let it glorify all that You are worth | For I am nothing | I am nothing without You

This week finished off good. God is so good. Even last few days have been cramming to the max, I still managed to do them with God's help.

Last Friday, I dropped by the office to meet my boss. She just came from Japan. I'm glad that our ordeal with the e-mail thing is over. It's really great to be back working again together with her. I admit I'm not so good with minor supervision, which I'm trying to work on now that it dawned to me. But it was a refresher that I'm back at the office. I realized I missed that sense of industry in me and I needed that.

Saturday, our youth is getting better now that we're doing fellowship and cellgroups alternately. I'm glad that I have a reliable set of leaders (Zarah, Candy, Brznf, Lawrence, Zarah Grace, Richard) that shares the passion and responsibilities in ministering to the youth. They make my tasks easier and manage with the different responsbilities going on with me.

I don't like it right now that I'm such a busy person. Last few weeks have been a wakener for me when all ministry roles demanded so much from me, particularly from Book of Hope and Chi-Alpha. I mean I love them all but I can't be at two places. These are the times when you just want to duplicate myself or something (but that won't be good either). But man, I have to refocus. In fact, now that I think of it, it would be better if I focus all my energies to a few things. Including relationships. People say I've been focusing too much on ministry that's why I'm missing out on relationships. Which I think is true.

Sunday, I spoke today on Isaiah 40:27-31. It was a timely message for all of us. I have to wait on the Lord. There's something remarkable about speaking to yourself as you speak to people. I crammed a bit about getting the message out and without Him it would be a disaster. It was all Him who touched the hearts of the people, gave me enough strength to proclaim His Word with confidence and conviction. Today I just spoke about how great our God is.. that's what we ought to hear for so long. I feel we've been teaching people to fix their own problems, much like a self-help book, when all we need to do is to speak of our God, His love, His mercy, His power, His greatness, His holiness and it would move hearts of people longing for an intimate fellowship with Him. I'm grateful for my Worship and Music professor Roce Anog for teaching me that.

It's not about us. It's all about Him.

Please include me in your prayers:

• Financial support for 2nd semester
• Physical, emotional and mental strength and protection against enemy attacks
  
• BFGFC youth ministry, discipleship and campus ministry
• Relationships
  

Finally, I'm done with my major paper. I'm still thinking if I'm still gonna submit the minor ones. But nevertheless a big weigh is already lifted off my shoulders. Finally gotta relax even for a while, cause I have to still do some projects for APCC. Yesterday, I got some major electronic nagging from my boss. It's totally my fault though. This sem, I spread myself too thin because of all the responsibilities I got. I'm caught between APCC and campus ministry. I am really torn, both demanding full attention. I'm back in this phase of choosing again. I promised myself that I would eventually focus on one by next year as I transition and test the waters. Please pray for me.

Today I finally got the hang of writing my term paper for a subject at school. And when it hits you the thoughts and ideas just flow. In half a day I was able to write 6 of minimum 10 pages required. But loooking at my scope I'm afraid still at 70% of my paper. It's my mom's birthday today, I couldn't believe I almost forgot this morning, my brother had to remind me, I think he just remembered when he came back for lunch. At 4PM, even though I don't want to leave the computer because I was so into the paper, I drove to school to submit my papers for another subject. I submitted the paper, then left. Dropped by Red Ribbon in Pasong Tamo to buy a cake for mom. Man, the people there are so disorganized. The queues getting long until our silent suffering was broken by a very angry manly lesbian customer demanding to speed up her order. They were like cockroaches startled then began scuttling around for cover...

I'm so edgy right now with what's happening with work. I love my boss and my job. It's just my boss sends like tons of e-mail like it's hard to sort out which one they want me to do. And they want me to acknowledge everything they said. For example, one e-mail's like 10 paragraphs long just for 3 brief instructions.. grr. Why do women talk so much? It's crowding my head right now. Just give it to me in brief, straight and in bullet points. Is that too much to ask?

I realized I haven't blogged for a while. Last week had been busy because of school. School days are over, but there are still requirements to be done. I have finished some papers but as if it never runs out.

Even in the midst of paper cramming, I still manage to see a drama prepared by Manila Faith youth in their 31st anniversary this evening. The play is entitled "Bubungang Lata" by a renowned Filipino playwright which I already forgot the name. The concept is great. A central stage and the audience surrounds the stage. The setting is a make-shift skeleton of a shanty house so viewers couuld see the drama inside. That was really a great concept. Definitely a good resource back-up in the future. The actors are as always, coming from Manila Faith youth, versatile and great. I've always admired MFAG drama productions for their systematic and detailed productions. I stayed later in Kuya Jess' parsonage for coffee and cake and went home really late. But it was a refreshing time of encouragement and sharing. I needed that. They're having a sembreak camp in a few weeks in Pundaquit, Zambales. I hope I could join them. It would be great to hit the beach.

Today I led worship. Worked on my papers after I led second service. Lunched with family at Tokyo Tokyo. As always scoured every floor of the mall waiting for parents done doing grocery.

Library. Done my last finals exam for this sem. But not yet off cramming for papers. At the moment I'm working on my projects. Some of it already lagging behind. Have a meeting with a client this afternoon.

Waiting for this huge load of a file to be uploaded to be sent to Japan where my boss is currently in a hotel and will be leaving tomorrow morning. I'm very sleepy now, not to mention I have a 9AM class tomorrow - finals. Last finals exam. Yey. But can't escape the papers though. This evening was my exam in Hebrew. Man, that exam was excruciating. Though I got through it, I just missed some word forms. Anyway, the file has finally uploaded. Off to bed!

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for...

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them...

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they (better things) be made perfect.

Hebrews 11

Playing from the sides as the people worship I thought, there is still hope. It's not so bad after all, meaning there's still a silver lining on every cloud right. It's just one of those things being in the moment when you think it sucks. This morning was an overwhelming presence of God. I am grateful for His amazing grace - AMAZING indeed. Recovering from burn-out is one of the greatest waterfalls of life. "Finishing Strong" has really helped me get back on track. A fellowship restored, an intimate bond revived. I am praying for His will for me right now, pray also for me that He may reveal it to me soon. For now I just want to bask in His presence.

Cool Change

by Little River Band

If there's one thing in my life that's missing | It's the time I spend alone | Sailing on the cool and bright clear waters

There's lots of those friendly people | Showin me ways to go | And I never want to lose your inspiration

[+] Time for a cool change | I know that it's time for a cool change | Now that my life is so pre-arranged | I know that it's time for a cool change

Well I was born in the sign of water | And it's there that I feel my best | The albatross and the whales they are my brothers

It's kind of a special feeling | When you're out on the sea alone | Starin' at the full moon like a lover

Well I've never been romantic | And sometimes I don't care | I know it may sound selfish | But let me breathe the air

A make-shift studio at church. These are people who keep me pursuing the cause for which Christ has died for. Go Firebrands!

I felt discouraged last night about our band practice. For the nth time there was again conflict between our band members and the sound tech (even if I already preached on conflict management last time!) I felt there was injustice. It left a band member hopelessly crying. I came to church prepared and light-hearted, I was the prayer meeting leader. And all members even were part of the prayer meeting, then for a short-span of time, they just placed everything on the garbage. What an insult to the Spirit of God. Shame. It's like we're living on the flesh and ignoring the spiritual essenses of being a body of Christ. I left with a headache. Good thing the pastor's wife was there to soften the tension. But she too was very concerned.

There seems no hope for our church. Only Christ's love and presence will change all this. It was like the Spirit was lifted off our church. Everything's a routine, mediocrity, and going about the motions. Going home I thought, what's the use of a church who doesn't produce souls for already such a long time? We are just spending money, time, energy maintaining people so that they won't leave the church. What's the use of a church who doesn't fulfill it's three-fold Commission? Really. These are the times that I would just want out. Too bad the reason why I'm so affected because I love this church so much.

Today I had to refuse my speaking engagement in another youth group next week. It was a hard call. But I need to attend to our youth. For sometime now we have inconsistent meetings due to outside activities and the storm.

Lord, I'm getting losing hope. Change our hearts and let us be searing-hot passionate for you.

Cease striving and know that I am God.

Please pray with me as there are opportunities for me to go out Singapore for the Carecell Conference in Trinity Christian Church and Indonesia for the Asia Pacific Youth Conference. For the future.

Idasal Mo

by Pinikpikan

Walang hanggan ang lakbay ng diwa
'Wag mo na lang piliting alamin pa
Tama na ang nakaapak sa lupa
Isipan mo naman ang syang gagala

May gagawin pa tayo sa mundo
Pagmamahal ang sasagip sayo
At kung sapat na ang pag-ibig
Ang mundo'y lilipad kasama tayo

At makiramdam sa paglalakbay, ingat lang
Sakaling ikaw ay maligaw ay banggitin mo Siya

Idasal mo idasal
Buhayin ang pagmamahal
Idasal mo idasal
Buhayin ang pagmamahal

I've been reading this fabulous book by Steve Farrar entitled "Finishing Strong." Finishing Strong is an easy read. Farrar is like a father instructing his son about life. Incidentally "finishing strong" is such a big word in our church community life. Finishing strong meant to finish this life victoriously, not missing the target. It doesn't matter how you start the race.. as long as you finish STRONG. I've realized that I am far from being exempted from falling away. It lingers around like a predator waiting for his prey's sign of weakness. My prayer for sometime is "Lord, please, let me finish strong. I want to finish strong."

I wrote in a pad last week...

"I'm sitting at a restaurant bar looking across a pool of tables. People eating, coversing. Some eating by themselves. As I observe I ask myself, "What could be going on her mind? Is she aware of her aloneness? Is she happy, contented?"

Why do people travel great lengths just be alone? Could it be pursuit of peace? Could it be that in doing so she would finally find her center, her being? Away from the prying eyes and hallow conversations. Perhaps life for her is just passing, where at one time you are here but tomorrow you go and hardly anyone notices?

Indeed life would be much bearable with someone to journey with.

Driving along a dark alley on my way home I was halted by a police car and realized I was driving on a one-way street. The cop came and took my license. Came back informing me that I would be fined P2000 for one-way traffic violation. I pleaded for a second-chance. He asked me where I came from. I came from school. Where? In the seminary. You go a seminary? Are you studying to be a priest? Sort-of. Then he checked out my books and stuff from the passenger seat to confirm I was a seminary student. I was. He asked for an ID. Then he said he'll let me go just this time.

I pondered a bit what just happened. What made the cop let go of me when he learned I'm a seminary student? Was it because he's earning pogi-points from God by being extra-lenient to people like me? Or would God tolerate my violation by giving me an escape? Whatever the answer is, I'm just glad he let me go.

Today I went early to school. I'm playing in chapel service. After chapel, went with Emmanuel to eat. Felt sleepy after so I slept in the car until 4:30PM. An hour after it was time for Hebrew class.

Just got home. Quite tired. I came from school. Today was our Drama Festival for Gospel and Acts subject. I felt I wasn't able to contribute because I avoided an acting part instead I volunteered as technical and props person. I sucked at doing both. We were only composed of 7 people. Seconds before the curtains opened my computer hanged from the connection of the LCD, scratching the video and powerpoint intros that I made - it wasn't shown, plus the people were like mocking a steady blue light. I just ended up playing impromtu stage music and closing song. In retrospect, I believe our entry is still competitive, but its my contribution that I'm ranting about. I know some of my groupmates were pissed at me because I wasn't fulfilling my roles so I apologized to them after. I'm just thankful that it is over.

I'm not really good in acting. I don't like being involved in one. But once in a while like pushes me over its fence. I remember in highschool playing Shakespeare but received negative results though I gave it my best. It was just there were people better than me. I acknowledge that. Drama projects at OT class were another thing I don't like, but have to do it for the grade. I know it's just isn't my element. Just let me play in a band or something or plan an event.

Finally I was able to get rest today. I was able to spend a good devotional time. I sought Him, even though it was hard to get back at first. But after my devotional time... God really speaks in different ways.. It's amazing. While I was watching a feature about ASEAN bio-diversity, He pointed me to a peculiar creature of the sea... a nudibranch - or sea slug. These small colorful creatures are related to the snails and inhabit the coral reefs. Then I thought how God took time and energy and such creativity to create these astounding creatures. I remembered how Jesus tells us that God cares for His creatures,

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father... So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows (Matthew 10:29-31).

There was God's love right there. I was watching this documentary and I was teary-eyed. I could imagine how God's inifinite greatness created these creature, how much more he created someone in His likeness, in His image, given us a portion of His being. He loved me.

I am finally relaxing. Haven't blogged for a while because since last week I was bombarded with lots of stuff to do. It happened that my freelance work, school, campus ministry and other responsbilities conspired to demand high-priority tasks due that week. By the end of the week I was officially burned-out. But still I really thank God for HIS GRACE that brought me through. Without that, I would have already broken down. To Him be all the glory and the praises. Some highlights of my week:

• Chi-Alpha Universidad de Manila launching last Thursday. There were around 20 plus students from UDM who came. We had games, food.. I also shared the message. Next week it's PUP's turn to launch their Chi-Alpha.
  
• ASCM Concert last Friday, I was in-charge of visual and media. Because of this and another design due, I was out of sleep Friday. But the concert turned out awesome!
  
• Youth Leadership Conference of Section 2 last Saturday.

I'm planning of enjoying my day tomorrow big time. I've been also experiencing some back pains from sitting in front of the computer for a long time. Please do pray for me.

A little update on what happened on the weeklong celebration of my birthday... ok, the weeklong was just stir. But this year's birthday was fun.

SATURDAY. The youth at church "surprised" me with balloons with personal notes in them that I needed to pop. Before they came out I knew there was already something fishy going on. But it did surprised me with the way their surprise gift. I was touched. They told me that I shoot burst the balloons by sitting on them. I told them I'm scared of bursting a balloon with my butt (Since the dawn of my childhood party days and friend's I never joined a pop-a-baloon relay). So I just stomped on them! But they managed to convince me to pop just one. We celebrated with lots of food and my favorite ice cream! Thanks guys!

MONDAY. At 12MN text messages started coming. In the morning I had to go to school. This week's our foundation week. And I had to compete in a poster-making contest. It was great. I think we did good. I came in an hour late. Just then I was told that the time limit is 2 hours. Eventually, we did not made it within 2 hours. But we still finished the poster. I don't like unfinished projects I told my partner. Feedbacks we're positive. I think we worked on it for 3 hours. After that had lunch with Erene and Emmanuel. Then went to Reef Check to do some review on the website I was doing for them. They liked it. Went home. Celebrated with family.

TUESDAY. Had Bible Study with Metro students at 2. Then went to Central AG to meet UDM students and celebrate again. This time it was a triple-celebration. It was Glady, Harold and my birthday that were celebrated.

New Blogger

I moved to the "new" blogger. I tried importing my blog to Wordpress but I realized it has a hard time loading and the interface is not so good. Then it began, my blogger is publishing weird. Paragraphs are not being recognized. Good thing, blogger has a new version (beta) with new features. So hopefully the Blogger team could still merge my old and new blogs. For those who's still looking for my previous entries you can check it out here. So bear with me as I start building up my blog again. Happy blogging!

Some good features:

• Category tags (Finally!)
• Movable and customize widgets
  

Jesus You Are

[+] Jesus, You are | You are everything I'm not | And everything I wanted to be | Jesus, You are | You are the Maker of my heart | Finish what You started in me

This is the hope I have | Something I cannot see | You willingly gave Your life | Willing to die for me | Now I believe | I believe | I believe

"It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning."

Paulo Coelho
The Alchemist, 1988

Had a very tiring week. Stressful. Work, school and ministry catching up on me. Yesterday morning and this morning I drove for more than three hours visiting churches to promote for our sectional youth event. Weirdest day today. I was caught by an MMDA for changing lanes in the U turn slot in EDSA-Pasay. I thought my license would be confiscated. I've been caught a number of times. Mostly in Makati. But today was different. I was fined, my license returned and I will just have to pay the fine in the bank. After that, went to Blue Wave to have lunch. On the way out, we were halted by the parking attendant asking for my parking ticket. I had none. I entered the parking lot without paying, unknown that there was a parking fee & unknown that I entered through the exit gate (My bad. The exit sign was so big, but swear I didn't see it when I entered). And the guy was like asking me to pay P80 fine. They were saying they didn't leave their post. But how could a car sneak under nose without noticing? They called their OIC. My argument was they were giving me a fine for a mistake I commited because of their negligence. My hats off to the OIC. He reprimanded the parking attendant. But he also reprimanded my gently saying "ignorance of the law is not an excuse". All the time I thought their was parking fee, but wala naman pala! They let me go. Driving to church I thought, those drained my energy. It snowballed until youth fellowship. I was really drained.

My lolo is getting cremated on Monday. After church went to the funeral. Keeping vigil on the funeral also contributed to my stressful week. I wasn't also able to spend much study time since my works are in the laptop. Returning home, my mom told me that our househelp, the one who took care of my lolo, saw my lolo at our house, in their room, sitting on a wheelchair, smiling back! That caught me off-guard. I hate that feeling. I thought my mom shouldn't have told me that.

Tomorrow, my parents aren't going to church, they're staying in the funeral. Just me and my bro.

Still after all these... God, You're the best! Thank you for the grace that is continuously leading me in the completion of the good work You have given me.

Few days ago, I started reading The Alchemist again, finally I'm understanding it. First time I read it was a hard read. I'm enjoying it now. Now it speaks to me. I feel for Santiago the shepherd. How he met the old king and went to journey for his Personal Legend yet to realize that it was not an easy feat that he begins to doubt his Personal Legend. But one thing pushes him to pursue: the old kings prophectic words. Sometimes sitautions shake your faith, cause you to be discouraged and wish to head back home. But the thing that keeps me pursuing my Personal Legend is His call and promise in my life.

Home

Night has past, darkness gone
Slumber is a time of searching and infinity
I wake up amongst legions but yet alone
Alone because I chose to be
For feet soiled cannot enter Thy house
Yet Thy shores yearns for a son
Endless sunsets and vast horizons calling
Come home

Woke up at 12NN today. I had a good rest. My mom woke me up to tell me my grandfather is not breathing. After a few minutes, I went down to find my aunt crying beside my lolo's bed. He is gone. I am not that sad. 'Cause finally my lolo is somewhere out of pain, incapacity and misery. For the last few weeks he's been in the hospital. Last time I saw him I was shocked to see him skin and bones. Finally his ordeal is over. He's in the funeral right now with his chidren. Some still flying to Manila to see him for the last time.

What a hot item! ...
I found this at SM San Lazaro last Sunday while parents went to supermarket. They're having a sale next weekend. I restrained myself from shopping. Save it for next week. :)

Original Me

The Caucasian Me

The Middle-Eastern Me

The Black Me

The Prehistoric Me

http://www.dcs.st-and.ac.uk/~morph/Transformer/

I heard the joke over the radio in an FX this week that made me laugh. I don't really laugh much at scripted jokes but this one did. Ironically the station was the one with the tagline "kailangan pa bang i-memorize yan?" which I wouldn't be "caught dead" listening to it, unless I'm trapped in an FX taxi. Anyway here's the joke...

Girl (both of them had a jolog accent): Ayy! Naiputan ako ng ibon sa ulo!
Boy: Sandali lang, kukuha lang ako ng toilet paper...
Girl: 'Wag na. Huli ka na! Paano mo pa pupunasan yung puwet nung ibon, e lumipad na!

"Kailangan pa bang i-memorize yan?!" (in Mahal-like voice)

Har har.

Finally after a long-time searching I finally found this book in this month's Powerbooks Sale just sitting by itself on a shelf. This afternoon was spent walking around the mall while waiting for my evening class. This morning, I woke up in panic as I was awaken by my mom to find out that it as zero minutes to my class! Last evening I told my dad to wake me up, but failed to wake me up on time. I remember waking up at 5AM from the cellphone alarm but put it on snooze. So I came in to class at 10AM, an hour after class start.

Friday. I was supposed to have BS at MHCN, but the students cancelled. I'm getting discouraged about the way the students perceive the BS. I'm trying to analyze the original purpose why I set up the BS in MHCN.. But besides some minor glitches, life has been fairly blessed. I am very happy for what's happening at CCM, I can see the hunger of the students for the Bible and I see it in their lives. I just pray that Chi-Alpha would be recognized as a school org next semester.

In the afternoon, had to fetch my brother from school and take our househelp to the hospital to swap with my mom in staying in for my grandfather. Then we went to church to practice for sunday worship. It's been a while since I will lead worship again. In our church we have this sound system guy. He's a little old.. and difficult. The musicians and this guy has a growing rift because of difference of taste in sound. Sometimes even I get nerved up dealing with the brother. In the end its the worship that suffers, and I hate it. Lately I've been staying out of the tension, because I feel it's useless trying to fix it up. I just end up annoyed and disoriented. I just wish that God would bring resolution to this.

I remember my Worship and Music professor talk about this. She would refer to Romans 14. It talks about the strong giving way for the weak not to stumble..

Our misconception is that Christ wants to change our personalities. Nothing could be farther from the truth. He wants to redeem our personalities. Christ wants to make stubbornness into steadfastness, emotionalism into compassion, foolhardiness into faith. We are "fearfully and wonderfully made," and Jesus' purpose is for us to reach the full potential of this craftsmanship.

- Relevant Magazine

Finally got to upload some videos. Check it out. It's me singing... Be nice.

Here at Greenbelt 1... This morning I woke up sore. Slept late last night. Trying to upload this huge video file of our concert in YouTube. So far I have uploaded 1 of 5. Sucks. Everytime it's almost done uploading someone would call and the Internet connection disconnects for a while and goes back up. But then my upload doesn't continue.

Had midterm exams at 9AM. I came in 9:45AM and learn that our professor only gave us until 10AM to finish the test. Damn traffic. I was already at jeepney station in Buendia at 9AM. Suddenly it started to rain. Traffic halts at Osmena highway 9:30, so I had to walk from there to Ayala to school. But it's all good. Thank God the questions that came out of the test were the ones I learned from the past lectures. I'm not much of a review buff. I just take in what's served during classes. It's easier that way. I mean, why would you be scared if you have already discussed it in class? After the test we exchanged papers. I got 44 out of 50 for the objective exam. Not bad huh? Essay part will be checked by the professor. Even though the essay test say to answer 4 of 5 questions. I answered all hoping to get extra points for answering everything :P Yeah I know, I'm a nerd.

After class went to prayer room, prayed and slept for a while... With nothing much to do after I let my feet do the walking to take me anywhere. I went to National Bookstore in Greenbelt 1 and end up buying this cool book:



It's about a guys little art project called PostSecret. He would give people postcards and ask them to write a secret they never told anyone and anonymously mail it to him. He has his own blogsite: http://postsecret.blogspot.com. Some entries are funny, others very sad, others shocking. I want to send some myself. :)

After that I went decided I want to sit and read. Starbucks.. too expensive. McDonalds will do. So went there got a nice quiet place and read. Watching people around. There was this Middle Eastern guy with a Filipino Muslim lady. Not his wife. Perhaps he's a recruiter or something. He left after she filled up some forms and he came back after 30 minutes. After that some old guy came with middle aged men. He seems to be business rich guy. Talking about projects and buildings and islands etc. But I hated it when he speaks, he puts P.I. in every phrase he says. As in like a household name. I can't stand it so I packed and left. Sometimes I stereotype out-of-school but successful business people. They curse a lot, they think they know it all, and you feel like a micro-ogranism. They are like Robin Hoods. They have their own justice system. Not really interested in God. But well, God still loves them.

So I'm now here in an internet cafe. 2 more hours till my next class. I should be in library doing homework but I gave myself a break. It's midterms week. I wanna go home and rest/sleep. But I can't. I was already absent last Friday.

Sitting here in front of the computer listening to sounds of running water. My mind has a lot going on right now and I'm getting a headache. Hoping this water therapy would help me relax. I'm feeling restless. I felt this headache when I went to school this afternoon. I rode an LRT without airconditioning and it was hot! Then coming to school for the Hebrew Midterm I entered a cool room. Then wore glasses, which added to eye strain. Plus lots of things going on my head and lots of things hearing at the same time! Some things that are in my head right now... randomly.

- the youth ministry
- the upcoming sectional youth fellowship
- my grandfather was taken to hospital. They say he's very weak now.
- parents talking people talking and talking
- midterm exams tomorrow morning
- Chi-Alpha meeting on Saturday
- preaching next Sunday